Having finished the customary post-dungeon dinner as usual, while the night was still early and wholesome I returned to my room.
“Ahh, that was fun!”
Tomorrow’s a day off.
I need to properly rest for working long into the future too.
Well, even saying that, I normally get appropriate breaks and it’s already more than enough.
Collapsing into bed, I grab the bucket placed next to it.
And threw up.
Lately, I’ve felt like throwing up the whole time.
I don’t get why I feel like throwing up so much.
I’m happy every day. I’m at the very center of the circle of people I aspired to when I was at Dragon Wings.
So why am I so nauseous?
I recall the faces of everyone I was just with.
Delicious food and drink.
Smiles and friendship as if coordinated.
I threw up again.
I don’t get it.
–Come to think of it, when do you feel like throwing up?
“No way…”
That can’t be.
Even though it’s so wonderful.
This room feels stifling.
It’s a normal, dignified wooden tile and ceiling room, not extravagantly luxurious since I’m like this, but you can still tell it’s well-crafted and stately.
I want to go somewhere else for some reason.
But with people’s eyes out there, I can’t even go to clear my head.
Oh right, at times like this I used to go to the inn.
…No good. I heard it’s booming now. There’s a line every night apparently.
Gladdening news. Nothing’s wrong at all.
Then, daily routine.
Doing the things I do every day with detachment should settle me down.
I light the lamp and open the notebook sitting on my desk.
In this notebook are sketches of all the members’ faces, and what we talked about today written down. It also serves as a diary.
I recently realized I’m bad at remembering people.
Especially if I’m focused on something like a dungeon dive, afterwards people’s faces become vague.
But there’s no way I could ask “Um, sorry, what was your name again?” to a member of the same party. It would seem dismissive, and in that case I would actually be dismissive.
“Yeah, today was fun too.”
I finish writing. Before I know it the night is late.
There, somehow my strangely excited head has calmed down, and I’m properly tired. I should be able to rest my eyes a bit.
I turn off the light and lay back on the bed. In my mind I repeat people’s names.
Ms. Camilla, Hans, Mark, Abel, Bettina, yes yes, I remember them perfectly. Faces and conversations flawless.
Lorenz, Eckhardt, Monica, Aurel, Barthold, Lucas, Raimer, Max, Gilbert…
So annoying.
There it is again. I hear it again as soon as I let my guard down.
So I don’t know what you’re saying.
Knock it off already.
Please. I can hear it even covering my ears.
If you keep at it, I can’t resist. My body floats.
Shut up.
I get it.
I don’t want to. That’s not it.
“Gah!”
I’m having fun here.
This is good as it is.
“Knock it off.”
You can go if you want, so go.
Why do you resonate like you understand when I don’t get anything?
“–I, Vim!”
Come on, just talk clearly.
Don’t just vaguely lead me along with your voice. Don’t take on an attitude like you’re speaking for me.
I’ll end up sympathizing.
What are you trying to do anyway?
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT gadgetizedpanda.net
Ah geez, I get it already.
Just hang on a sec. Right away.
“Wake up, idiot!”
Pain runs through my cheek.
It’s Heidemarie.
In front of me was Heidemarie.
///
///
“Huh?”
“Hey! Do you know where you are right now!?”
“No, why are you in my room…”
I start to say but realize.
This isn’t my room.
What I see stretching into the distance is the Adventurers’ Guild – the dungeon entrance.
It’s already deep night, and barely any people can be seen even though this is the town.
I notice the chill. I’m wrapped in the scent of the outdoors.
“In the middle of the night, what’s with wandering outside like you thought you’d take a walk!?”
“No, I was just going to bed as usual…”
“As if! You’re properly equipped and look like you’re about to head into the dungeon!”
“Huh…?”
She’s right.
I’m fully geared up. I have two swords on my back.
Ah, I see.
Was I trying to go to the dungeon?
“Vim. Say my name.”
“You’re Heidemarie.”
“Right…Now say who you are, where we are, and roughly what time it is.”
“Um, I’m Vim Strauss, in front of the Adventurers’ Guild, and probably the middle of the night?”
“That’s right. You’re in your right mind, aren’t you? Let’s go back.”
Yeah.
Oh, am I calm?
I thought I might have done something weird sleepwalking, but it doesn’t seem that bad.
“No Heidemarie, I’m going to the dungeon.”
“Huh? Hey wait. You’re not in your right mind. You haven’t been able to sleep properly, right?”
“I had my eyes closed properly in bed.”
“That means you couldn’t sleep!”
Yeah. I know.
“I can’t keep watching and do nothing anymore! Let’s go back!
“Go back where?”
“Where do you think!? The manor! Come on! I’ll watch over you until you fall asleep! I’ll keep an eye on you!”
“Haha, think that’ll work?”
“Just come!”
“Do you really think so?”
“I mean…”
Well, of course you’re lost for words.
You know me well. So.
“I want to go.”
I stare her straight in the eye and state it clearly.
I felt a little unfair. She can’t be firm with me saying this.
“It’s calling me. I have to go.”
I was already enhanced. There was no shaking her off.
For now, I just want to dive.
No, that’s wrong.
I want to go. Positively. By my own will.
The dungeon is that kind of place.
It’s always been so. There was nothing unpleasant or uncomfortable about it. I was just running from facing my true feelings.
It feels like some plug in my head came loose.
I break through the Adventurers’ Guild security and race into the dungeon.
“I get it! I don’t know what you’re saying!”
The feelings I’d suppressed come gushing out, swirling round and round. As I move my limbs, they spill out endlessly in response.
My head’s a mess. It’s like a flood inside.
But maybe I’m surprisingly calm.
I feel like I’m balancing speed and safety, I don’t really know. Going this deep alone, I’ve never done that before.
Fast. So fast.
Everything feels lighter.
I don’t even have time to feel the headache or ringing. Left it all behind.
I’ve come down the path to the ninety-ninth floor countless times.
My body automatically steps on the transfer circles to take me there.
It’s refreshing coming down the familiar path alone.
The scenery I know looks so different.
I can go at my own pace, not slowly marching.
Stepping on this hidden transfer circle leads to the ninety-eighth floor’s treasure vault.
Then stepping on the transfer circle next to it takes me right to the front line.
Here I go, stepping on it.
What spreads before me is a sublime view. The ore veins studded across the hemispherical ceiling like gems.
It was so beautiful.
No matter how many times we passed through, it faded away. Shrank smaller and smaller, until I thought it insignificant.
But look – it’s so expansive.
I don’t have to happily show anyone. All the feelings just inside my heart.
How nice it must be.
I’m at the front line.
The humidity makes visibility poor.
No matter how much progress we’ve made exploring, the jungle changes daily. I can’t rely on remembering paths.
But that’s wrong. There’s nothing to fear.
If anything, I actually welcomed this environment.
The humidity means my joints are softened and move easily. I can go all out anytime without warming up.
No one’s watching my back. Of course everything outside my vision is a blind spot. And there’s lots of obstacles too.
No whining about how scary or unreasonable it is to throw myself into such reckless danger.
I can’t help but feel it.
Excitement.
“Hey!”
I shout loudly.
I vaguely sensed it. The lizardape monsters came to fight me on purpose. That’s why we keep running into them during dives.
It was waiting for me.
And I too was looking forward to fighting with it in my heart.
“I know you’re there! I came! Alone! Now!”
Should I say the rest?
Should I say it?
Ah, nevermind. Don’t worry about it. Left it behind.
I’d stopped even thinking it, but I wanted to say it all along.
“There’s no one in the way!”
I said it.
I said the thing I can’t take back.
I tremble with guilt.
But I wanted to say it.
This is what I wanted to say.
I can’t say it, but I’ve gone and said it anyway.
” “
I hear a voice. Far back.
I have no idea what this voice is.
It feels like the dungeon is speaking to me, and it also feels like the floor master’s voice. I’m so clueless I wish someone would explain it to me.
But there’s one definite thing.
I was drawn to this voice.
I thought it was fear. I thought I shouldn’t listen to it. But that was wrong.
I knew the attraction was outrageous, so I ignored my true feelings and pretended not to hear it.
From the depths of the jungle’s darkness. The lizardape monster languidly walked between the trees as if nothing mattered.
It’s not even jumping from branch to branch.
With an attitude as if it has nothing to hide, boldly, it comes before me.
“I wanted to see you.”
Also check out my friend Localizermeerkat for more LN translations!
BUY THE SOURCE MATERIAL TO SUPPORT THE AUTHOR !!!
Kindly click on the green button above and contribute to filling the green bar if you’re interested in having another LN from the request page translated. Also, every donation is being used to purchase the source material and to fund more English translations.
Please consider joining my Ko-Fi membership. By becoming a member, you’ll also gain access to 2-10 additional chapters of all of the novels from this site translated into English. Last but not least your support will also assist me in upholding the translation quality and speed. For more information, please follow the link.
Donation for faster release is always welcome
Additionally, I am now accepting translation requests.
Thank you for the update!
Boy is having a mental breakdown… Dungeon nature also became even more suspicious.