Chapter 10: The Hero’s Father’s Very Last Strand of Hair
[This time, I think I’ll try being a bit dere-dere (lovey-dovey) toward you.]
“What’s gotten into you all of a sudden?”
[When you’ve been the Goddess in charge of Isekai reincarnations for a long time, you occasionally get these fits of loneliness.]
“It is a solitary job, after all.”
[Yes. So this time, I will accept even your most intense advances. Come now, embrace me.]
“In that case, I think I’ll go with the salt treatment (cold shoulder) this time.”
[Why?!]
“I figured it’s a fair trade for the sake of balance.”
[Is this a game to you?]
“True, I could probably enjoy a ‘sweet’ moment right now. But the aftermath scares me.”
[I won’t deny that.]
“Please deny it!”
[It’s fine. It’ll probably just be a cycle of dying over and over until your memories are wiped.]
“That went beyond scary. I need to escape to Isekai reincarnation quickly. Oh? The Suggestion Box is missing.”
[Are you looking for this Golden Suggestion Box, or perhaps this Silver Suggestion Box?]
“You stole it! When did you—? Er, it’s the suggestion box I made out of a God*va chocolate box.”
[Because you are an honest person, I shall grant you my divine favor.]
“Oops, no way out. Or so you thought! I’ve actually already picked one out.”
[Since when?!]
“From Hikawa-san: ‘The Hero’s Father’s Very Last Strand of Hair.’“
[That looks like it’ll set a record for the shortest life span.]
“A man’s hair has a lifespan of three to six years, after all. It must be a message to find the meaning of life within a limited time.”
[I don’t think the person who submitted the prompt thought that far ahead.]
“No, I’m certain they sent this postcard convinced that anyone could lead a satisfying life in this reincarnation destination.”
[Stop trying to neutralize the difficulty of the prompt by raising the bar for the person who submitted it. Stop this lose-lose relationship.]
“For now, let’s think about the options. The lifespan can stay as standard.”
[If it’s just words, it sounds relatively manageable, but we *are* talking about hair, aren’t we?]
“It wouldn’t be satisfying if it just fell out during a sudden accident, so I want it to fall out in a truly dramatic fashion.”
[I’m amazed you’re so accepting of reincarnating as a final strand of hair.]
“Now, what kind of background should I choose… Oh, this setting for the hair falling out is nice.”
[I’m amazed you’re looking for ‘quality’ in a setting for hair loss.]
“I don’t need any cheat skills. I’ll manage somehow.”
[The confidence of a mere last strand of hair thinking it can ‘manage somehow.’]
“I think it’s poetic to leave yourself to the flow of the times occasionally.”
[Well, you’ll certainly flow with the wind.]
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT gadgetizedpanda.net
“I’m back.”
[As expected, you’ve returned.]
“Is your ‘lonely fit’ okay now?”
[Yes, thank you for your concern.]
“Good. Then we can go back to how things usually are.”
[That’s right. Now, please, go ahead.]
“Wait, it hasn’t subsided at all, has it?”
[How did you know?]
“Back when I was a human, I was taught the trick to gauging distance between people.”
[You sure kept a lot of your memories from your human days.]
“I have a good memory.”
[You do, don’t you? Despite being so slow on the uptake.]
“Shall I give my report then?”
[A story about hair… it sounds like it’ll be a very small-scale tale.]
“The story begins right when the Hero defeated the Demon King.”
[Straight to the climax, I see.]
“The Demon King, falling halfway through his ambitions, hated the Hero and tried to curse him to death.”
[A common development.]
“However, a mere Demon King’s curse stood no chance against a cheat Hero who was a reincarnator.”
[Well, sixty percent of Heroes these days are reincarnators.]
“So, the Demon King’s curse flowed toward the Hero’s father instead.”
[What an unpleasant turn of events.]
“Thus, the Hero’s father was cursed so that every time the Hero killed a monster, one strand of his hair would fall out.”
[It’s ‘grand,’ though I’d rather not call it that.]
“There was no fantasy where the world becomes peaceful just because the Demon King died.”
[It is a fantasy world, though. There’s a Demon King and everything.]
“Powerful monsters rose up to become the second or third Demon King, and even among humans, there were those plotting to seize hegemony in the post-war vacuum.”
[I hear stories after the Demon King’s defeat are often quite harsh for the Hero. In a sense, that’s true this time as well.]
“At first, the Hero was just hunting the remnants of the monsters. But when he returned home, what awaited him was a massive amount of fallen hair in his father’s bedroom.”
[That’s a horror story.]
“Realizing the true nature of the curse, the Hero tried to throw away his sword.”
[Did he just weigh his father’s hair against world peace?]
“However, the Hero’s father punched the Hero, sending him flying 200 meters, and scolded him.”
[As expected of the Hero’s father. He’s strong.]
“He said, ‘What does my own hair matter? If you throw away your sword, the hair of many others will fall!'”
[I really wish he had said ‘lives’ instead.]
“The Hero was stunned.”
[Was he moved?]
“The distance was too great; he couldn’t hear what his father was saying.”
[Well, he was punched 200 meters away.]
“The father approached and said the same line again. ‘What does my own hair matter? If you throw away your sword, the hair of many others will flutter away!'”
[I don’t think adding sound effects like ‘flutter’ changes anything.]
“The Hero said, ‘But if my lush, hairy dad goes bald, people will think I’m going to go bald in the future!'”
[He’s a reincarnated Hero, all right. Looking out for his own skin.]
“The father kicked the Hero, sending him flying 600 meters, and scolded him.”
[As expected of the Hero’s father. It’s said legs are three times stronger than arms.]
“This time, he approached him before speaking.”
[As expected of the Hero’s father. High learning capacity.]
“He said, ‘A man’s worth isn’t decided by his hair; it’s decided by the money in his pocket!'”
[He’s kind of a piece of trash.]
“The Hero wasn’t listening.”
[Was he a decent Hero after all?]
“He was unconscious.”
[Even a Hero passes out if kicked 600 meters, I suppose.]
“After the Hero woke up, the father said the same thing, and the Hero repented. He then swore to defeat as many monsters as possible to bring peace to the world.”
[That’s a good resolution for someone who was just told worth is decided by money.]
“Well, there’s a reward for every monster defeated.”
[Like father, like son.]
“The Hero defeated monsters with single-minded devotion. Along with that, his father’s hair fell out one after another, and the Hero’s heart ached.”
[I feel like his heart shouldn’t ache that much.]
“Out of worry, the Hero returned home to check on things every time he completed a subjugation.”
[The Hero is quite neurotic.]
“Every time he returned, the amount of fallen hair in the house increased.”
[Why don’t they just clean it up?]
“It wasn’t just in the bedroom; hair started increasing in the bathroom, the toilet, and the living room.”
[Seriously, clean it up.]
“The storage room, the workshop, the heroine’s bedroom… his father’s hair began to stand out everywhere.”
[It’s being found in some rather questionable places.]
“The workshop has to be kept clean, after all.”
[I won’t press any further on that.]
“The Hero continued to fight, his heart aching even more as his father’s hair grew thinner.”
[There should be other things for his heart to ache over.]
“Like taking the lives of monsters, you mean?”
[You really are slow on the uptake.]
“But one day, the most troublesome opponent appeared before the Hero. His name was the Crustacean General Name-kuji (Slug), who controlled countless insect monsters.”
[That name doesn’t feel very ‘crustacean.’]
“The insect monsters weren’t particularly strong individually, but their numbers were overwhelming.”
[It’s a sight I’d rather not imagine, but it must have been a terrifying number.]
“The Hero imagined the scene ahead and trembled, unable to grip his sword.”
[Is the sight of one old man’s hair falling out in bulk really that terrifying?]
“The father, who rushed from home, threw the Hero 18 meters.”
[It’s impressive in its own way, but compared to the punches and kicks, it’s a bit underwhelming.]
“The father popped his shirt collar and spoke.”
[What was the point of popping the collar?]
“He said, ‘Don’t worry about the hickey on this neck; it’ll disappear in a few days.'”
[Is he keeping a heroine waiting at home?]
“The Hero was inspired by the encouragement and steeled his resolve.”
[Which part of that conversation was encouraging?]
“There was an element of ‘balding,’ though (Hageru/Hagerasu pun).”
[Be quiet.]
“The Hero, having steeled his resolve, set fire to the forest where Name-kuji was.”
[That’s a brutal method.]
“Seeing this, the father praised him, saying ‘Well done,’ against a backdrop of his hair falling out in massive quantities.”
[If he was just going to burn it, couldn’t the father have set the fire himself?]
“Because of this battle, his baldness could finally no longer be hidden.”
[So he still had some hair left.]
“Every time the father looked in the mirror, he looked sad, but he told himself it was proof of the Hero’s achievements.”
[What a sad proof.]
“I could do nothing but offer him kind words.”
[The ‘scheduled to be the last’ strand of hair spoke?!]
“The father was surprised. ‘Who on earth are you?’ he asked.”
[If a hair starts talking, that’s the natural reaction.]
“I introduced myself as the strand that was destined to be his very last. Code name: Last-One.”
[What a grand name for a mere piece of hair.]
“Having watched his interactions with the Hero, I knew the father’s resolve, so I could only offer words to ‘balden’ (encourage) him.”
[You’re aiming for that, aren’t you?]
“I said, ‘You’re going bald! Don’t mind it!'”
[I’m surprised you weren’t plucked out.]
“Even if I were plucked out halfway through, I wouldn’t be the ‘last’ one. Therefore, my location would just teleport.”
[An unnecessarily strong setting.]
“The father gave up after plucking about a hundred strands himself.”
[He must have really hated it, even though he had so little left.]
“I told the father, ‘I shall watch quietly until the day your showdown with the Hero is settled.'”
[Why do they have to have a showdown?]
“Actually, the father was the boss of an evil organization that controlled the underworld.”
[The ‘Hero’s Father’ setting suddenly got very thin.]
“Just like his hair.”
[Continue the story, already.]
“He was usually a kind father, but in his secret identity, he committed every possible atrocity.”
[We did see glimpses of that tendency on the surface.]
“He had been capturing monsters whose discipline fell apart after losing the Demon King and selling them off as entertainment goods. However, the Hero discovered the receipts kept in the house, and his position came to light.”
[I’m surprised he didn’t notice until then.]
“The Hero stormed the hideout and denounced him, saying, ‘You were a model father, pure and righteous—how dare you betray me!'”
[Is the Hero blind?]
“The father simply stated, ‘It was for the money.'”
[So the first persuasion attempt was foreshadowing!]
“The Hero agreed, saying, ‘That makes sense.'”
[This Hero is trash too, after all.]
“‘In that case, I’ll defeat you and inherit your estate!’ And so, the battle between Hero and Father began.”
[Hardly the words of a Hero who saved the world.]
“The Hero had the upper hand throughout the fight. As expected, the difference in hair was significant.”
[I don’t think hair makes a difference in power.]
“The father was at his wit’s end, but then my magic hit the Hero directly.”
[What happened to the promise to ‘watch quietly’?]
“I just couldn’t leave the father alone after we had shared joys and sorrows since my birth.”
[I don’t think the father is aware of that.]
“The tables turned, and the Hero was cornered.”
[The difference in hair was greater than I thought.]
“The Hero tried to find a way to make the father’s hair fall out, and the father tried to corner the Hero while protecting his hair. They both plotted against each other.”
[The content of this psychological warfare is terrible.]
“Then, the Hero had a flash of inspiration. The father is a monster broker, which means there must be many monsters hidden in this hideout.”
[I see. He intended to use the curse where hair falls out when a monster is defeated.]
“The Hero thought that if he took these monsters hostage, the father wouldn’t be able to make a move.”
[He’s as slow on the uptake as you are.]
“The Hero took the monsters hostage, but the father said, ‘There are plenty of replacements for monsters. Just like there are plenty of replacements for your heroines!'”
[Was this a harem story? And the father’s trashiness is no less than the Hero’s. In a way, were the heroines saved?]
“The desperate Hero set fire to the hideout.”
[His actions when steeled and when desperate are exactly the same.]
“And as the monsters died one after another, the father’s hair fell out all at once.”
[What a gruesome sight.]
“Normally, it should have all fallen out. However, my option ‘It won’t fall out unless it’s quite dramatic’ kicked in, and I remained as the last strand.”
[I thought that was pretty dramatic, though.]
“The Hero, having run out of options, was defeated by his father.”
[And he was a cheat Hero and a reincarnator…]
“There’s no way someone who relied on cheats to take the easy way out could lose to me—I mean, us—who were forged in adversity.”
[I feel like your existence has become quite the ‘cheat’ itself.]
“It felt great.”
[A piece of hair acting so high and mighty…]
“The father was about to deliver the finishing blow to the Hero. But at that moment, a giant comet suddenly streaked across the night sky.”
[That is quite dramatic. Ah.]
“My lifespan had already ended several years ago. And then that ‘quite dramatic’ event occurred. I fell out.”
[That was an unprecedentedly dramatic end for the last strand.]
“I didn’t think options like ‘Falling stars are often seen when looking at the night sky’ and ‘Meeting a wonderful sight when in a good mood’ would become my end like this.”
[Was it your own doing? Why did you pick those options?]
“It was a hair’s life. Since there’s no interaction with people, I thought I’d be satisfied with the sights I saw.”
[I see. The logic holds up.]
“As for the aftermath, after my ‘death,’ it seems the ‘possessions’ (bad spirits) left the father and he became a decent person.”
[I see. Though what ‘fell’ was the hair.]
“And I had put so many curses and magical elements into my options to make sure I didn’t fall out easily.”
[So the hair was the possession?!]
“There is a slight possibility. He only changed around the time I sprouted from him.”
[You’re a bundle of possibilities, aren’t you?]
“So, I came back with a rather indescribable feeling.”
[You’re allowed to feel a bit of guilt.]
“And here’s the souvenir.”
[I wouldn’t mind if you yourself were the souvenir.]
“I brought it back properly. It’s a fragment of a meteorite.”
[Oh, that’s a more romantic souvenir than I expected.]
“It just happened to fall.”
[Wait, is this the comet?]
Also check out my friend Localizermeerkat for more LN translations!
BUY THE SOURCE MATERIAL TO SUPPORT THE AUTHOR !!!
Kindly click on the green button above and contribute to filling the green bar if you’re interested in having another LN from the request page translated. Also, every donation is being used to purchase the source material and to fund more English translations.
Please consider joining my Ko-Fi membership. By becoming a member, you’ll also gain access to 2-10 additional chapters of all of the novels from this site translated into English. Last but not least your support will also assist me in upholding the translation quality and speed. For more information, please follow the link.
Donation for faster release is always welcome
Additionally, I am now accepting translation requests.
Damn, I guess in a shitty world being a hero requires you to be just as shitty