Chapter 4: Toudou and the Cat
It’s rare for me to walk home alone.
“I don’t have any plans today. It’s been a while.”
When walking home with Hanazono, we always stop somewhere.
I’m still working part-time, but I’ve reduced the number of shifts to avoid unnecessary contact with Tanaka.
Life is long. But I have constraints. I graduated from that elementary school… I made a contract with Eri, occasionally completing her requests to earn money, and living a normal student life. And then, I ran into Eri for the first time in a while–
There’s a hazy feeling deep within my chest. I can’t defy Eri, that’s my common sense. In the same way, I somehow understand that this ordinary life won’t last forever. Someday, I’ll have to say goodbye to everyone. …What is this feeling? Something is welling up suddenly, with the same strong will and emotion as when I decided to reset.
Saying goodbye to everyone. I wasn’t aware of it.
I see, that’s what I don’t want.
But I can’t defy Eri. Hopeful expectations are unnecessary. People go through cycles of meeting and parting. If I reset my emotions and eliminate them, my heart won’t hurt.
–I probably would have thought that before. But that idea is wrong.
“Hm…? A wild presence.”
When I turn around, a stray cat is walking behind me. The cat notices me and meows “nyao.”
Looking at the cat, I change my mood. I cautiously approach it and start gently petting its head.
“Nyago, purrrr…”
“Well, isn’t she a very good-looking cat?”:
It was a rather clingy cat. …I sat down next to the cat. As I petted the cat, a memory from the past flashed back–
It was when I was in middle school.
I thought I knew all about Japanese student life just from books and my smartphone knowledge.
But my common sense was off from the real world. No matter who I talked to, I couldn’t seem to connect with them.
Even the homeroom teacher was like that. The only one who would stay by my side was Hanazono. That was enough for me.
During the first self-introduction, the student next to me ignored me, and I didn’t know what to say, so I just stood there frozen. The other students gave me cold stares. I felt very uncomfortable.
Even Hanazono was not as kind to me back then as she is now.
When it was time to decide the groups, Hanazono sighed and let me be in her group.
The mismatched group wasn’t very fun.
Because of me, Hanazono had fewer friends. Yet she promised to look after me.
When I asked why, she just said, “I promised back in preschool, hmph!” I wonder what that was all about?
I tried hard to make friends so I wouldn’t be a burden on Hanazono.
But whenever I tried to talk to someone, they would run away.
“Why are you talking to me?” That’s the look they gave. I was an oddity to them.
I couldn’t read the atmosphere. My opinions were off. I could only speak the truth.
Apparently, that was deadly to my classmates.
I thought if I excelled at studying, everyone would understand. Or if I was good at sports, I could make friends.
But the day I got a perfect score on a test–in the back of the school building, I was confronted by several classmates. I was suspected of cheating. It seemed everyone thought I was a stupid weirdo to suddenly ace the test.
I couldn’t say anything in my defense until Hanazono came. I just looked down and counted the pebbles.
At the winter marathon event, I ran with all my might. I could see the surprised faces of the watching parents and teachers. I thought they were delighted. But I was mistaken.
The moment I reached the finish line, I was disqualified.
They said my time was abnormal. That I must have taken a shortcut. But with everyone watching, how could I have cheated? Yet my abnormal time took away that logic. Things that couldn’t be explained by common sense were simply ignored. This happened to me multiple times, and I was condemned by all the students.
As I endured the abuse, I came to a realization.
I needed to hide my abilities. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to handle it emotionally.
–I was used to tragedies, but not to being on the receiving end of malice. I was scared of people. I hated my incapable self.
People seemed to find it easier to interact with those of lower abilities.
I wanted to aim for normalcy. So I decided to downplay my own abilities.
Gradually, the bullying didn’t escalate as I got used to school life. The girl sitting next to me, Hiratsuka Sumire, kept teasing me, but eventually, her recognition of me faded. She must have forgotten.
It worked better in the classroom if I was seen as the weird one.
Because then my classmates could look down on me. That would give them a sense of superiority. They could treat me – the pitiful guy.
–It was a sad thing. That’s why I tried not to “recognize” the existence of my classmates other than Hanazono. If I didn’t recognize them, then they didn’t exist.
That was my middle school life.
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT gadgetizedpanda.net
“Nya…… Grrrr…”
The light rain had started.
The cat, unconcerned about the rain, jumped onto my lap and demanded that I pet it. I leaned forward to keep the cat from getting wet.
///
continue
///
Lately, I’ve been reminiscing a lot about the past. …It’s more sad than painful events that occupy my mind these days.
I wonder if this is really the life I wanted. When I went to high school and got separated from Hanazono, I tried to make an effort to connect with people again.
But the result was resetting Hanazono, Michiba, Sasami, and…Tanaka.
My desperation changed my own heart. I thought that the people looking after me, including Hanazono, were all the same.
“Hanazono likes upperclassmen.”
That fact hit me with an overwhelmingly shocking impact. It was worse than falling from a building, a cliff, being stabbed by a knife, or shot by a gun. I thought Hanazono’s kindness towards me was just a misunderstanding on my part.
The shock took away my ability to make a rational judgment.
I had no hesitation in resetting.
The anger towards myself was exploding within–
“Funya!? Fushuu!!”
“Ah, …… , kitty: …… “
The cat, sensing my emotions, ran away. I was alone again.
The feeling of the rain suddenly stopped.
“What are you doing out here alone?! It’s raining, aren’t you using an umbrella? And you’re crying again? Did someone bully you?!”
My heart jumps. I didn’t expect Hanazono to show up at all. Weren’t we supposed to be talking?
“Hanazono, I’m not crying or being bullied.”
Hanazono held an umbrella over my head. Tanaka came running up from a bit further away.
“Hana-chan, you walk fast! Wait up! I know you’re worried about Toudo, but still…”
“I-I’m not worried at all!”
“Tanaka? I was just trying to converse with a cat.”
“A cat? Hey, does Toudo have an umbrella?”
“No.”
“Well, in that case, you’d better get under my umbrella!”
“But your umbrella is small since it’s a folding one.”
The two of them had relieved expressions. The strange atmosphere I’d been feeling lately seemed to have dissipated. They must have had a good talk.
“Oh, the rain stopped.”
Hanazono lowered the umbrella. The two of them, lit by the evening glow, looked very lovely. My vision grew hazy, as if I was in a dream.
This must be what I’ve been searching for all along. It’s manifested, and I don’t know what to do.
–Do I even have a place in this scene?
“Well, it was just a passing shower. Hana-chan, let’s go.”
When I saw their faces, everything else became unimportant.
The ordinary, normal things I had searched for, longed for, but couldn’t find – were right here.
The family restaurant near my high school was lively as usual today. Hanazono and I sometimes stop by on our way home. The manager is a kind person who has helped me when I was in trouble. After coming here many times, I’ve even been able to have some conversations with the manager.
Today, I see some students from other high schools as well.
“Hehe, of course we’re going to treat Toudo to the all-you-can-drink bar today!”
“Yes, that’s right. It’s frustrating, but it’s thanks to Tsuyoshi. But just for today, okay?”
Ah, so it’s about the talk…
I’m glad it went well.
“Ah, I’m going to the restroom for a bit.”
“I’ll go with you! I drank too much while we were talking…”
“Then I’ll go ahead and order. Three all-you-can-drink, right?”
At this restaurant, I can order on my own.
The two of them replied “Okay, thanks!” and headed to the restroom.
I’ve gotten used to coming to this family restaurant. I had my first experience with the karaoke box, but I didn’t understand this amazing all-you-can-drink system. It’s truly wonderful.
And the restaurant’s system is amazing. When ordering, you can just press a button to call the staff.
I pressed the button. I thought the manager would come at this time, but a female staff member came rushing from the tables in the back,
with an unfriendly expression. Not a good atmosphere.
“…What would you like to order? –Huh? Toudo?”
“Pardon me, I don’t know you. I’m afraid there’s been a mistake. I’d like to order three all-you-can-drink.”
“Huh? What are you talking about? Weren’t we in the same class in middle school? It’s me, Sorimachi Kei. Could it be Toudo’s friend Hanazono is here too?”
Toudo’s friend? …Opening the file in my memory, Sorimachi was indeed in the same class. She was a diligent student who would glare at me when I got perfect scores. …Why? I felt a very unpleasant feeling. It felt like she was mocking Hanazono. I don’t mind being mocked myself, but I restrained my unstable emotions.
“I’d like to order the all-you-can-drink…”
“Scary?! This is a nostalgic reunion, can’t you be a bit more friendly? And that uniform, it’s from that school, right? Hmm, you’re not too bad at studying…tch. The friends from our middle school days are sitting over there, you should go say hi.”
Looking at the table, there were some men and women around my age. Their names and faces were recorded in my memory, but I couldn’t recognize them as my classmates. They were just strangers.
They were snickering at me. …I recognize that kind of laughter. It’s the way they mock people.
But there was one male student who had gone pale-faced and was trembling as he looked at me.
Again, I remembered my middle school days.
He was a classmate from my second year of middle school.
The entire class had been doing senseless bullying towards me.
Also check out my friend Localizermeerkat for more LN translations!
BUY THE SOURCE MATERIAL TO SUPPORT THE AUTHOR !!!
Kindly click on the green button above and contribute to filling the green bar if you’re interested in having another LN from the request page translated. Also, every donation is being used to purchase the source material and to fund more English translations.
Please consider joining my Ko-Fi membership. By becoming a member, you’ll also gain access to 2-10 additional chapters of all of the novels from this site translated into English. Last but not least your support will also assist me in upholding the translation quality and speed. For more information, please follow the link.
Donation for faster release is always welcome
Additionally, I am now accepting translation requests.
