“…I don’t like it.”
After muttering that, she continued.
“Everyone lives by disguising themselves and dressing up their true selves. Do you think people’s true selves can be accepted? That’s impossible. Communities and society are built on layers of lies.”
“But that’s—”
“You can’t say it’s not true, can you? Even you, Akasaki-kun, can’t show your true self. If that’s not the case, can you bare it? Your true heart?”
Haruya found myself at a loss for words.
Something caught in Haruya throat, and he couldn’t form any words.
Because what she said was the truth.
Haruya couldn’t possibly argue back, as he too have secrets he can’t tell anyone.
“Well then, let’s end this gloomy talk. Shall we spend the rest of our time singing our hearts out?”
Taking the microphone in hand, she switched back to her usual self and began to sing while looking at the monitor.
Her clear, beautiful voice no longer reached Haruya’s ears.
…Perhaps everything would work out if the Eika Festival ended without incident.
But, is it really true that nothing’s wrong…?
Two female students cross Haruya’s mind.
They’re the gyaru-like girls who’ve been bothering Rin.
Maybe because Yuna had also been having trouble with students from another school recently, Haruya can’t shake off this bad feeling.
That’s why he can’t help but worry about Rin, who seems to be pushing herself too hard.
As he watches Rin singing happily with a microphone in hand, he thinks:
…Is it really okay to leave things like this?
Having only caught a glimpse of Kohinata-san’s true feelings, her real intentions, without properly drawing them out…
The next day. After finishing his work on the executive committee, Haruya visited the staff room.
The air conditioning must be working well, as the room is very cool and comfortable.
It’s already dark outside, and the students who were doing club activities have probably already started heading home.
The Eika Festival preparations are in their final stages, and the footsteps and chatter of students who stayed after school can be heard faintly echoing.
He thought, “Maybe she’s not here now,” but… as he approached her desk, the teacher he was looking for was there.
“…What is it, Akasaki?”
The homeroom teacher looked at him with a puzzled expression, crossing her legs.
“I have something I’d like to discuss…”
“I see. Akasaki… Have you finally decided to join the track and field club?”
Still wanting to get Haruya to join the track team, Haruka clapped her hands together.
“No, it’s not about that.”
As he says this with exasperation, she grumbles, “What a shame. How boring.”
He wishes she wouldn’t say such unreasonable things… unreasonable indeed.
“Well then, what is it about? If I had to guess, is it about the executive committee?”
“Yes, I have a question about the executive committee…”
“Isn’t it a bit late for that? There are only a few days left until the Eika Festival, right?”
The homeroom teacher frowned and tilted her head.
“It’s not about concerns with the work content… it’s about Kohinata-san.”
“Oh? You have something you want to ask me about Kohinata?”
“Yes.”
What kind of student is Rin Kohinata?
He wanted to hear it from the homeroom teacher’s mouth.
After the incident with Yuna’s basketball situation, he felt he could trust the teacher’s judgment of people.
He could have asked his friends Sara and Yuna, but they seemed busy with the class play, so he decided not to.
Especially since those two are the main characters in the play.
Also, he wanted to avoid any suspicions of romantic intentions.
For the same reason, he avoided asking Kazamiya, who sits behind him.
(If I ask what kind of student Kohinata-san is, he’d definitely jump to conclusions about romance, thinking “Are you targeting her?”)
So, that’s why he decided to ask the homeroom teacher.
“I’d like to know your opinion on what kind of student Kohinata-san is.”
“And why is that?”
“I feel like she might be pushing herself too hard.”
“Have you asked her directly?”
“Yes, but she insists there’s nothing to worry about. Maybe she really is fine, but… I just can’t shake this uneasy feeling.”
“Well, Kohinata is strong, after all.”
The homeroom teacher seemed to have sensed what Haruya wanted to know from their exchange.
Uncrossing her legs, she gives him a somewhat troubled smile.
“That’s precisely why, if you want to be there for her, if you truly want to understand her… you’ll have to be honest. Not with fancy words, but with your true feelings.”
“…True feelings.”
He mutters quietly to himself.
The homeroom teacher nods deeply before adding:
“Yes. She’s probably very guarded. Unless you’re honest with your feelings, Kohinata probably won’t show her true self. That shell around her heart is quite thick.”
Does that mean that even the slightly angry version of her he saw at karaoke wasn’t her true self?
As he listens to the teacher’s words, various thoughts run through his mind.
Seeing Haruya like this, the homeroom teacher lets out a light sigh.
“Well, I don’t intend to say anything more… but good luck, Akasaki.”
As if to say the conversation ends here, the homeroom teacher turns back to face forward.
“Thank you very much.”
“If you want to thank me, then join the track—”
“Rejected.”
“…Geez, you’re so cold.”
The homeroom teacher remained unwavering to the very end.
As he heads towards the school entrance, organizing the teacher’s words in his mind, a thought suddenly occurs to him.
(… Where is the real Kohinata-san? Will I be able to draw out her true self that I couldn’t even bring out at the café? Can I…?)
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT gadgetizedpanda.net
It’s been this way ever since I became a high school student.
Ever since entering high school, I, Rin Kohinata, have been living a life where I dress myself up so as not to be looked down upon.
I think I lived as my true self up until elementary and middle school.
Changing from glasses to contacts, putting on lip gloss, learning how to do makeup, taking care of my hair.
After discovering the world of fashion, which had been foreign to me until then, I enrolled in Eika High School.
Since becoming a high school student… I had already decided how to navigate my class.
Number one.
I have to be number one.
I have to become the face of the class.
If I can gain the support of all my classmates, surely no one will look down on me.
Not wanting to be looked down on, not wanting to be bullied, I was desperate.
Even during my self-introduction in front of my classmates, although it wasn’t like me, I tried my best to speak in a cheerful voice.
…It’s okay.
I’ve practiced for a long time how to make expressions and speak in a way that won’t be looked down upon.
I think it paid off, and I was recognized as a bright presence who could lead the class.
If I can make my classmates think that way even once, I’ve won.
Once an image takes root, it’s hard to overturn.
I learned somewhere that first impressions are that important.
Riding on the momentum of my self-introduction, I actively made friends.
I thought that if I was with these people, I could surely remain at the top.
With such impure thoughts, I made two friends.
However, one grew through love, and the other through sports.
My place is now gradually disappearing.
It’s undeniable, since my name no longer comes up in class discussions.
The power balance between those two and myself is about to crumble.
Yes, since entering high school, I’ve decided on my path of dressing up.
That’s why I have to keep trying, even if I have to force myself.
Volunteering for the executive committee, becoming the vice leader, being the center in the band – it’s all for the sake of the power balance. It’s all for me to be me.
So, there’s no need for the real me. There’s no need for true feelings.
—Because I am Rin Kohinata.
All that’s left is to prove it at the Eika Festival. There, I’ll show everyone that I’m on equal footing with those two.
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