Just as Rin sent her message to the first-year executive committee group chat.
“Huh? What’s this all about?!”
Sayuki raised her voice, staring intently at her phone screen.
“Look at this,” she said, showing her phone screen.
On the LCD screen was a message from Rin, simply stating that she wouldn’t be able to perform in the live show.
“I thought she was just running a bit late, but what on earth is going on?”
Sayuki began dialing Rin’s number while roughly scratching her head.
Before the call connected, she gave instructions to Haruya.
“Akasaki-kun. Can you go find Rin? I think I can count on you.”
You helped Rin get back on her feet.
You made Rin’s expression brighten.
Sayuki must have shared this with the other members.
All the committee members nodded emphatically.
“Leave the stalling to me. If worse comes to worst and it looks like Kohinata-san won’t make it back in time, let me know.”
The leader flashed a refreshing smile as he said this.
He smiled, saying that supporting the vice-leader was also the leader’s role.
Haruya refrain from pointing out that it’s usually the other way around, as it would be out of place in this situation.
“…Understood. I’ll leave the rest to you. Just don’t get your hopes up too much.”
After all, the school grounds are vast.
Even if we search, it’s impossible to find her if we can’t contact her.
Moreover, the second-year comedy act has just finished, and preparations for the third-year dance performance are underway.
Time was also limited.
“I appreciate that you’re not saying it’s impossible. We can manage to buy some time, right, Kawada-san?”
“Ah~ I can’t get through to her. Rin-chan, what on earth is going on? Ah, I’ve got the time-buying covered, so I’m off.”
Haruya raised one hand lightly and left the scene.
Moving away from the seniors performing their dance under the spotlight, he walked towards a deserted path.
And so, Haruya’s search for Kohinata Rin began.
Finding a specific person amidst the bustling school festival is a daunting task.
Especially in a high school with such expansive grounds, the challenge is even greater.
However, the executive committee’s event is currently underway.
Most of the stalls have closed, and almost everyone has gathered at the stage, hoping to end the festival on a high note with the committee’s event.
It was fortunate that there were fewer visitors and students inside the school buildings.
This meant that Rin was unlikely to be lost in a crowd, making her easier to spot.
Even from a distance, any student would stand out immediately.
However, time constraints limited the areas he could search.
It wouldn’t be efficient to search the entire vast campus, and there simply wasn’t enough time for that.
So, what should he do?
The key was to read Rin’s fundamental nature.
Why did Rin suddenly decide to withdraw from the live performance at this crucial moment? It was likely due to her encounter with those two bullies.
There was no other explanation that made sense.
If it were just a sudden illness, she would have reported it properly.
The fact that she didn’t explain why she couldn’t perform, only apologized, and cut off all communication, suggested that she was emotionally cornered.
The reason for her emotional distress.
The answer inevitably led back to those two bullies.
Where do people go when they’re emotionally distressed and want to be alone?
The first place that came to Haruya’s mind was the bathroom.
If she wanted to be alone, a bathroom stall would be a place where she absolutely couldn’t be found.
However, if she had escaped to the bathroom, there was nothing Haruya, being of the opposite sex, could do.
Besides, he predicted that she probably wouldn’t hole up in a bathroom.
This was because Rin had an unusually strong sense of responsibility.
Normally, after encountering bullies, it wouldn’t be strange to withdraw from the committee’s event.
Yet she had once firmly stated that she would perform in the live show.
And now she was saying she wouldn’t perform anymore.
Something severe must have happened with those two bullies.
While filled with anger, Haruya didn’t stop thinking.
Where would Kohinata-san likely go…? He pondered this in his mind.
She had a strong sense of responsibility and was also prone to feeling guilty.
If so, she was probably somewhere with a view of the live stage.
Haruya could vividly imagine Rin watching the stage from afar, alone and consumed by guilt.
The infirmary? The library? A classroom balcony…?
As he narrowed down the possibilities, a conversation they had at the cafe suddenly flashed through Haruya’s mind.
[Oh, mister. Are you reading a book today? You usually seem to be reading manga.]
[Ah, yeah. Actually, I’ve been getting into novels recently. I’m finding that it’s not bad to engage with text.]
At first, he had been reading shoujo manga at the cafe, but after almost being caught by Rin, he had started to enjoy romance novels.
Rin’s eyes had lit up as she reflexively opened her mouth.
[Oh, I totally get it… I mean, I understand! Especially the library or the school library, they’re so calming. I often go there when I’m feeling lonely or at a loss.]
Haruya remembered Rin letting this slip at the perfect moment.
The library was located on the third floor and overlooked the live stage.
Moreover, there were no stalls set up from the library, and now it would be an empty space with no students or visitors.
The conditions couldn’t be more perfect.
Haruya rushed to the library.
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The library was deserted, making it an ideal place to be alone.
Surely Rin would be in the calming library, tormented by guilt and about to withdraw from the live performance.
He didn’t know what those two had done to Rin.
But they must have done something to trigger her past trauma.
Otherwise, there was no explanation for why Rin’s recovered spirit had wavered again.
The two bullies must have run into Rin and felt frustrated that she was about to succeed with the live performance.
The thought of someone they had bullied being recognized by a large audience, shining on a glamorous stage, and being praised…
No matter how dissatisfied they were with their own lives, the malice of trying to bring others down was nauseating.
Imagining those two with their ugly smiles, pleased at having broken Rin’s spirit as they intended, made it impossible for Haruya to calm his irritation.
People’s true nature doesn’t change easily.
But does that mean it’s wrong to try to change?
Are they saying it’s futile?
True, Rin had probably sought an easily recognizable title because she felt an unnecessary gap between herself and Sara and Yuina.
Executive committee member. Vice leader. Star of the event.
She tried to prove her superiority with these titles, to show that she was in no way inferior to Sara or Yuina.
Some might say that this is just the consequence of reaching for easy titles, being extremely self-righteous and selfish.
But it’s a lie that someone who worked hard doesn’t get rewarded in the end, no matter how hypocritical or self-righteous they might have been.
Haruya want it to be a lie.
In exchange for the titles, she took responsibility and completed her work.
Of course, at first, she must have been confused by unfamiliar tasks and committee members who resembled bullies.
In class───.
[Everyone, let’s decide on our performance~~]
In the executive committee────.
[……Ah, y-yes. Um…]
At first, Haruya couldn’t help but doubt her different personas in class and the committee, but he remembers that eventually, she became as cheerful in the committee as she was in class.
She didn’t run away and fulfilled her duties.
So, I can’t accept an ending where she’s crushed by malice and everything is ruined.
───It’s okay not to change. It’s okay for Kohinata-san to be herself.
It might be important to tell her that.
But now, it seems more important to acknowledge her efforts to change.
Haruya climbs the stairs towards the library.
Glancing at the library, he notices the door is slightly open.
The room is dark, but he can see a small student reaching towards the window.
It seems the library was the right guess.
Haruya lets out a small sigh of relief before steeling himself to approach her.
Now, the real challenge begins.
The library is filled with a heavy atmosphere,
Surely, it’s my own darkness adding to it.
I stay here without turning on the lights, fearing a teacher might come if I do.
The smell of aged, worn paper and the library’s unique quietness soothe my heart.
……I’m sorry. I truly feel bad for everyone.
Looking out the window, Rin Kohinata is deeply apologizing to all the committee members—especially those in charge of instruments who worked hard for the live performance.
But, it can’t be helped.
I’ve been starkly confronted with the fact that my essence hasn’t changed after all.
The core of my heart has completely frozen.
The reality I didn’t want to face. The baptism of my dark, heavy past.
Why did those two appear at this time?
Why am I bullied like this?
Numerous questions pop into my head, only to gnaw away at me.
There are no physical wounds on my body.
Although I experienced insidious bullying in middle school, they never resorted to physical violence, perhaps thinking it would be too risky.
However, deep scars remain in my heart.
Perhaps because they’ve been stimulated, they’re throbbing and aching, making me feel so painful I might lose my mind.
[────We can make this the best live performance]
I’m sorry I couldn’t.
[I want to see the Kohinata-san who’s looking forward to tomorrow]
I’m sorry I couldn’t show you that.
I’ve been putting on a brave face and decorating myself all this time.
But in the end, I’m back where I started. The fake me is just returning to being the bullied kid.
All the plating is stripped away, leaving nothing but an empty me…….
(N-No… that’s…)
I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I absolutely hate it.
But darkness spreads endlessly within me.
──It all started in my second year of middle school.
I was originally a reserved girl who loved reading, a plain student.
Back then, I wore glasses instead of contacts like now, and I was just an ordinary girl getting along with a few friends.
However, at some point, I unknowingly opened the gates of hell for myself.
It was about love.
As we entered puberty, it became normal to get excited talking about boys we were interested in or liked.
My friends suddenly started dressing up, and I followed suit.
……I just wanted to keep up with my friends’ conversations.
I just wanted to share the same topics and become closer friends.
That was the beginning of everything.
I didn’t dress up to be liked by someone.
I didn’t dress up to flirt with boys.
At first, we were excited about fashion talk and love stories, but gradually my friends drifted away from me.
Apparently, the boy they liked ended up liking me instead.
They said it became awkward and they didn’t want to be around me anymore.
Even when I rejected the boy’s confession, I was accused of [pitying them].
I was at a dead end…….
However, I couldn’t bring myself to dislike dressing up.
Maybe because I didn’t have many hobbies to begin with.
I became deeply invested in makeup and clothing that could make me look cuter.
Just as I thought I’d lost my friends, I caught the attention of some delinquent girls.
Those two were the ringleaders.
After we ended up in the same class, they would hide my textbooks, hide my indoor shoes, and even grab me by the collar after calling me to the bathroom.
The worst memories. The baptism of a past I want to forget.
The root cause of all this, those two, are mixed in with that crowd.
I steeled my resolve thinking I’d be okay after Akasaki-kun’s encouragement, but as soon as I faced those two, I crumbled.
……I’m sorry. I’m really… sorry.
As I apologize for the umpteenth time in my heart, my eyes suddenly well up with tears.
───But, ending like this is also───.
“I don’t want this… I don’t want this.”
Such emotions escape my lips.
I’m torn between not wanting to withdraw and cause trouble for everyone, and not knowing what I really want to do.
“…See. I came to get you, Kohinata-san.”
Suddenly, a gentle voice reaches my ears.
When I turn around, Akasaki-kun is standing there.
With his long bangs and the dark room, for a moment I thought he was a ghost from a horror movie.
Various questions like ‘why’ and the urge to run away clash in my mind.
“Let’s… talk for a bit, shall we?”
Akasaki-kun suggests while standing.
───I need to run away. He’s come to take me back.
My body reflexively tenses, ready to flee.
“It’s okay, I’m on your side, Kohinata-san.”
He says as he comes to my side.
Strangely, his voice has a calming effect, making me abandon my intention to run.
(……Maybe Akasaki-kun can pull me out of this hell)
For some reason, I felt like clinging to him.
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