A Short story: The Lord as Seen by His Maid
My master, my superior, and my life’s savior, Zero-Lagler sama, is as eccentric as ever.
“Recently, I met a princess, and she’s such a hassle,” he said.
“Huh,” I replied.
“She’s always going on about some nonsensical chuunibyou notebook. Talking about the ‘truth of the world’ and how the Six Great Gods are evil.”
“Isn’t that what you always say?”
“Well, yeah, but she says it with a straight face! It’s unbearable.”
“Huh.”
Recently, this lord of mine has formed—or maybe not—an alliance with the third princess of a theocratic nation to pursue the “truth of the world.”
Yet, he himself seems to think it’s all nonsense and ridiculous. But since he’s always been like this, it doesn’t strike me as particularly strange.
——Every time, I can’t help but wonder how he manages to miraculously pull things off.
That princess, if you think about it, is quite a valuable source of information. Even if he only half-listens to her, the information she provides is genuinely useful. After all, even if Zero sama dismisses it as a conspiracy theory or mocks it,
the Six Great Gods do exist.
The Heavenly Realm might even have infiltrated the upper echelons of the kingdom. Every time, I can’t help but wonder how he manages to miraculously pull things off. He’s careless, yet undeniably impressive (I say this twice because it’s important).
“Zero sama, what kind of women do you like?” I asked.
“Why do you ask?”
“Lately, there seem to be many women around you, but none seem to catch your interest.”
“Ah, well, most of the beautiful women around me are pretty twisted.”
“There’s me, Lady Ilza, Lady Alza, Lady Nadeko, Lady Nana, Lady Kirs, and the other Arcana executives…”
“Hmm, I guess I’d prefer a more natural encounter. Or maybe I’m fine for now. I need to focus on building my assets and thinking about when I’ll quit being the leader.”
“I see. Most would think a silver-haired, blue-eyed maid like me would be the main heroine.”
“You’re saying that yourself? I envy your high self-esteem. For me, I’d prefer a more natural meeting, unrelated to being a leader or a noble. In a fantasy setting, maybe an elf or something.”
“Ah, so you like elves?”
“Not particularly. Beastfolk too, I guess. But for now, I don’t need a girlfriend.”
“Is that so?”
As I said this, I handed Zero sama a box filled with letters. These were fan letters from members of the Arcadia Revolutionary Army, addressed to him as their leader.
Honestly, it seems like a hassle to go through all these letters. But he reads every single one of them. And not only that, he personally writes replies to each.
“I’ve always wondered, do you really read and reply to all these letters?”
“I should, right? I’ve let them worship a fictional existence and admire a false version of me. It’s just my self-indulgence, really!”
“I see.”
This man is strangely dutiful in his own way. Sometimes, I feel he truly has the qualities of a leader. When he goes out to eat with the members, he always pays. Even though he talks about wanting to build his assets, he never hesitates to cover the bill, often sighing as he checks his wallet.
Yet, he doesn’t take a salary as the leader. He says it feels wrong to take money since he’s deceiving them.
After about two hours of writing replies, Zero sama buried his head in my lap. He does such bold things without a hint of nervousness, which sometimes makes my heart skip a beat.
To suddenly rest his head on the lap of a god… How insolent of a human! A lap pillow, no less!
Well, since it’s Zero sama, I’ll let it slide.
“Hmm, I’ve always thought your lap pillow is quite comfortable.”
“Fufufu, of course it is.”
“Can you lower the temperature of your lap to make it like an ice pillow?”
“Such demands! That’s impossible, but I’ll specially clean your ears for you.”
“Good, you’re as attentive as ever.”
“As you wish, my lord.”
“You’re quite the smooth talker.”
“I am your maid, after all.”
As I gave him a lap pillow and casually cleaned his ears, I noticed something about his earwax.
“Your earwax is quite dry and flaky, like scabs.”
“Is that so?”
“While I clean your ears, can we talk about the Heavenly Realm?”
“Stop! I don’t want to hear about that during this relaxing break! Talk about it later!”
“Alright, alright.”
When Zero sama’s break ended, we sat facing each other on the bed. I had to give him my recent report.
“About the Heavenly Realm, their base is hidden quite cleverly. It’s hard to find.”
“So they’re a sizable group after all. For a bunch of people who believe in urban legends… No, maybe it’s precisely because they take it seriously that they’re dangerous. We should be on high alert. Grown adults talking about the resurrection of gods…”
“And remember that person you defeated before? The one called [Crimson Flash].”
“…Who?”
“You know, the former holy knight. I told you before, he was a skilled swordsman.”
“…Oh, I forgot.”
“He was a highly skilled swordsman, so I’d like you to remember him. To you, he might just be another member of the Heavenly Realm, but globally, he’s quite renowned.”
“But when I look at you, Reina, I can’t really remember others. You’re all so beautifully crafted, with eyes like gemstones, right?”
“Kyu, kyun!”
Th-this man dares to fluster a god like me! Ugh, even as a god, I found myself getting flustered by a human.
“Your appearance is nice, but the rest is… well…”
“That part wasn’t necessary. Remember when you saved Lady Nadeko, the greedy one? The swordsman was there when you went to work.”
“Ah! That guy!”
“Your way of remembering is unique.”
“Yeah, he was a pretty good swordsman. Even though I’m a genius, I thought he put up a good fight against me when I was just three months old. Yeah, I remember now. He was a great swordsman. If I were three months old, that genius swordsman would’ve been a good match for me.”
“The epitome of sarcasm.”
This man sometimes casually calls himself a genius. Well, it’s true that Zero sama is a genius, so I can’t deny it.
“That swordsman was named Dagze, and he held the title of holy knight.”
“Hmm, and?”
“It seems he’s escaped from prison.”
“Eh? Seriously?”
“Seriously. You knocked him out, and the kingdom imprisoned him, but he managed to escape.”
“Well, well.”
“But this makes it clear.”
“Ah, I see. Reina, your thighs have gotten a bit plumper. Have you gained weight?”
“N-no! I haven’t gained weight! What I mean is, there’s someone helping him escape! There are members of the Heavenly Realm within the kingdom’s knights!”
“Ah, I see.”
“Don’t just say ‘I see’! Let me ask, did you let that swordsman live and hand him over to the knights to confirm this?”
“Fufu, exactly.”
“Right, you just didn’t want to deal with the hassle of executing him. Got it.”
“Impressive. You’ve seen through me. You’re worthy of being the leader. You’re amazing, Reina. I’ll pass the leadership to you. Do your best, Reina, you’re number one!”
“I won’t do it.”
“Tch, fine.”
If I were to become the leader, it’s obvious that the faith would crumble.
Even I can see it. The faith is indirectly tied to him.
They don’t worship the Holy God Arcadia. They worship because Zero sama-Lagler says they should. Since he worships, it must be a good god, no doubt about it.
I can clearly see how strongly the members believe this. If I were to tell him this, he’d probably think it’s some chuunibyou nonsense and say,
[Oh, you must be tired, huh? How about a hug? Or maybe a head pat?]
So I won’t say it (though sometimes I do want a head pat, lonely god that I am).
That’s why we can’t let him quit as the leader. I’d be in trouble, the members would be lost, and if the Six Great Gods were to revive, he’s the only one who could win.
There are a few members who could put up a good fight. Especially [Star] Gene, who once taught Zero sama swordsmanship. He’s practically the second-in-command.
In terms of strength, he’s next to Zero sama. But, no offense, there’s an absolute gap in power between Zero sama and Gene.
It’s like comparing an adult to a child. The difference in strength is so vast it’s almost absurd. Gene himself acknowledges this and has said he’s truly relieved to serve under Zero sama.
Yes, I feel the same. As a god, I’m genuinely glad this human worships me, even if he thinks I’m a lie.
To describe him in one word:
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT gadgetizedpanda.net
——A mutant human.
A being with infinite magic, the ultimate one. That’s how I evaluate Zero sama. The term “talented” doesn’t suffice. I don’t think he hasn’t worked hard; he’s been honing his skills as an agent since childhood.
But that alone doesn’t explain it. It’s not just about being able to work hard. He’s on a completely different level.
Perhaps… the concept of gods was born because people worshipped rare, monstrous humans like him as [Gods].
“Ah, by the way, I remembered the members wanted to see me. I have to wear the agent’s uniform… I don’t want to go.”
Even though he’s so laid-back, I can’t imagine anyone beating him even at his full strength.
“Zero sama, why do you always do the agent pose when you use magic? Isn’t it embarrassing?”
“Well, the Dark Smile BGM starts playing. You never know who’s watching, so I have to do the agent pose when I use magic. If there’s no agent around and the Dark Smile BGM plays, they’ll figure out I’m the agent. That’d be a huge problem. I’ve caused enough trouble in the past, and if that got out, my position as a noble would be in jeopardy. My dad, mom, little sister, and big sister would all be in trouble too.”
“I see.”
“Also, the members think that’s my real self, right? If I don’t do the pose occasionally, I might forget how to do it. It’s embarrassing, but I have to.”
“I see.”
“Look at this letter. It’s from a female member. She says, ‘The leader who always speaks so kindly and elegantly is wonderful.’ How can I quit after reading this?”
“You can’t. Good job.”
“Right.”
After that, Zero sama and I headed to the Arcadia Revolutionary Army’ secret base. The other members were there.
“Ah, Lord Leader!”
“Leader!!”
“Kyaa, it’s the leader!”
“Leader, there’s something about history I’d like your opinion on!”
“I’ve been working hard to learn magic to be useful to you, leader!”
“I even raised my adventurer rank!”
“The leader is amazing for uncovering the truth of the world’s history.”
“They say he can see the future.”
“As expected of the leader.”
“And I heard the leader doesn’t even take a salary!”
“He’s too amazing. He must be a saint.”
“He’s a true noble, a king in spirit.”
“He’s full of manly spirit.”
“I started acting like the leader, and the girl I liked in town started dating me!”
“Me too!”
“We should all act like the leader!”
“Did you hear? The leader is still developing!”
“There’s still room for growth?!”
“And the other day, he deliberately handed over [Crimson Flash] to the knights to confirm there are Heavenly Realm members among them!”
“Your mind’s razor-sharp too. You’re amazing, Leader!”
“You’re amazing, Leader! Or should I say… AmaLead!!!”
“AmaLead! AmaLead!”
“AmaLead, AmaLead!”
“Wait, wouldn’t ‘Leader Supreme’ sound better?”
“Let’s shorten it to… Leadsup!”
“Leadsup! Leadsup! Leadsup!!”
“AmaLead! AmaLead!!”
“But the leader works so hard without pay. I’m worried he might quit from the stress.”
“Right. I baked cookies for the leader. I hope this cheers him up a bit.”
“If the leader quits, this organization will definitely collapse.”
“It’d fall apart instantly. No one else has his charisma, strength, and achievements.”
“The leader deserves a high salary.”
“Exceptional people deserve exceptional rewards.”
……He can’t quit now. I felt a bit of sympathy. Zero sama’s face had turned pale, and he looked resigned. I’ll give him a hug later.
“Waaah, ReiReimon! I want to quit being the leader!”
“Good grief, Zero, you’re impossible.”
I’m sorry, humans. Foolish god that I am, I can’t help but spoil Zero sama, who’s being praised to the skies and finding it harder to quit, even as he grows exhausted. I don’t think it’s a bad thing.
Also check out my friend Localizermeerkat for more LN translations!
BUY THE SOURCE MATERIAL TO SUPPORT THE AUTHOR !!!
Kindly click on the green button above and contribute to filling the green bar if you’re interested in having another LN from the request page translated. Also, every donation is being used to purchase the source material and to fund more English translations.
Please consider joining my Ko-Fi membership. By becoming a member, you’ll also gain access to 2-10 additional chapters of all of the novels from this site translated into English. Last but not least your support will also assist me in upholding the translation quality and speed. For more information, please follow the link.
Donation for faster release is always welcome
Additionally, I am now accepting translation requests.
