“Could it be… Yosshi, do you…”
Hanazono stopped mid-sentence.
Then she shook her head slightly.
“W-what?”
Perhaps due to nervousness, my knees started to twitch.
I sat down on the spot.
Looking up, Hanazono seemed very hesitant.
— Surely.
Surely, she couldn’t say it clearly to preserve our friendship.
In other words, my feelings have already been conveyed to Hanazono.
Hanazono also sat down, aligning her eyes with mine.
And after a short pause, she declined.
“I might not be the person you think I am, Yosshi.”
I blinked.
…As I thought.
As I thought, Hanazono has seen right through my feelings.
It might have been since last week, or when we talked after a long time, or maybe she’s known all along since middle school.
What’s certain now is that this time is flowing with the understanding that I like Hanazono.
And the fact that I’m still silent at this point is as good as an affirmation.
“Just as you’re not showing me everything, there are things I’m not showing either. So, the me you’re imagining is a misunderstanding.”
Hanazono is trying to explain.
That she’s not the person I think she is.
She’s trying to prevent a confession before it happens.
Prioritizing our future relationship.
Unlike the senior, because we’ve had interactions up until now, she’s using polite phrasing.
“If someone like me, who has different sides, is by your side, your growth will surely be poisoned. For Yosshi, who’s about to start growing himself, there should be more—”
…This is ridiculous.
“There’s no need to show everything.”
When I said this, Hanazono’s eyes widened.
“I’ve been thinking these past few weeks. It would be best if we could show everything, but hiding some things is part of becoming an adult. Even Nikaido, my childhood friend, definitely has things she doesn’t tell me. And vice versa.”
I’m not going to let her prevent my confession any further.
Trauma doesn’t matter.
“It’s enough to show the parts you want to show. You don’t have to show what you don’t want to.”
Showing everything to each other and accepting it all.
That might be ideal and something to aim for.
But there are people who don’t fit with expecting that much from others or being expected that much.
For some reason, Hanazono is especially sensitive about this.
That’s why she tried to distance herself.
If I wanted to be an adult here, I should read her feelings and step back — I can’t completely deny that possibility.
If so, should I hide my feelings in my heart again?
Should I let this moment pass by again?
When we become adults, we’ll surely have many regrets about our high school days. We’ll have many lingering attachments.
Someday, we might laugh and call it youth.
But can I say for certain that it’s not just to disguise regrets and attachments?
…I can’t.
Surely, every time I fail in the future, I’ll remember today.
Wondering if something might have changed if I had taken a step forward that day.
I don’t want that.
So to not make Yuka Hanazono a regretful memory, I have to take a step forward now.
“I’ll try not to want to see the parts Hanazono wants to hide. I’m happy if my embarrassing parts are accepted, but I won’t demand the same in return. That’s enough for me. Because—”
With such a boiling passion in my chest, I have no choice but to express my feelings to the person who causes it.
Perhaps this is an immature action that doesn’t consider Hanazono’s feelings.
But I don’t want to become an understanding adult just yet.
“I fell in love with just the parts of Hanazono that she thought were okay to show me.”
“…Yosshi”
“So no matter what you say, my feelings won’t change.”
“I… I see.”
Hanazono lowered her head as if a string had been cut.
The clock hands tick away our time.
After the second hand had moved countless times, Hanazono finally answered.
“I’m sorry.”
Time stopped.
A painfully deep silence spread in my ears with a buzzing sound.
From my parched throat, I let out a short voice.
“…I see.”
Even though I was aware of being cautioned, I strung words together as I pleased.
It might have been the worst confession.
But I said it all.
I probably said all the feelings I had been accumulating.
Perhaps because it emptied my chest, my feelings strangely became lighter.
I have no regrets.
No, I have many regrets about the details.
Things like I should have planned more carefully, or I should have gone on more dates before this, various things.
But right now, just for now, the sense of fulfillment was greater.
Until now, I had never been able to express my feelings so openly and directly. I never had the courage to take that first step.
Just being able to do that… it’s something I can carry with me moving forward.
At least, that’s what I tell myself.
The first person who came to mind was Remi.
I wonder what face she’ll make when I tell her what happened today.
Will she worry?
Will she show concern?
Or maybe she’ll break her usual calm demeanor and laugh like an idiot.
That would feel more natural to me.
No matter how she acts with others, I prefer it when she laughs. It puts me at ease.
Yuzuha would probably just burst out laughing, not a care in the world.
…Yeah.
A new day is starting again.
That’s all this is.
I slowly got to my feet.
“Alright, I’ll walk you home.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah. You’re not really staying at home much, right?”
Hanazono didn’t move.
I felt something was off and asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Sorry. That’s not what I meant.”
“Huh?”
Not understanding, I waited for her to continue.
“It’s just… sometimes the things you can’t see can ruin what’s in front of you.”
“…Okay.”
“So, I’m sorry.”
“…What do you mean?”
Was she rejecting me again?
That would be pretty cruel.
But when I looked closely, Hanazono still seemed like she had something more to say.
It reminded me of how I used to be.
Suddenly, I had a hunch.
…No way.
“Hey.”
“Yeah?”
“Are we… in a ‘good vibe’ right now?”
––Being in a “’good vibe’” is the first stage of love.
You can only judge it subjectively. Or maybe…
Hanazono stood up.
She was closer than I’d ever been to her before,
and I could hear her soft breathing, which made my heart race.
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“…Maybe.”
Then, she leaned into my chest.
Her warmth told me that she trusted me.
Breathing in sync with her,
even that felt new and unfamiliar.
Being in a ‘good vibe’ is the first stage of love.
But even if that stage feels unclear, as long as both sides can confirm their feelings, you can move past it.
Even when no words are spoken, Hanazono still responded.
And the next thing to do—
I’d never had a relationship with a girl progress this far before,
but I thought back to past experiences.
––If I could relive the time when I felt things were going well with another girl, maybe there’s still a chance for someone like me.
After spending that time—and more—I finally said,
“I like you, Hanazono.”
I said it again,
wanting every word to carry its full meaning.
Hoping it would reach her.
“…Yoshi, are you sure I’m the one?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m pretty plain, you know.”
“I don’t think so at all.”
“I don’t have the best figure.”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“My chest… it’s small. When I see girls like Nikaido or Yuzuha, it feels even worse.”
“That doesn’t matter either! I’m not into you for something like that!”
Hanazono sniffled and let out a muffled laugh.
“Oh yeah, you saw me before, didn’t you?”
I started panicking.
“Sorry, I know there are things you didn’t want to show. And what I said earlier, about not needing to show anything you don’t want to, I meant it! What happened earlier, that was different!”
“Hehe… It’s okay, Yoshi. If it’s you, I don’t mind.”
She smiled, a mix of surrender and openness, but it was the most joyful expression I had ever seen on her face.
I couldn’t wait for her answer and urged her.
“So… what’s your answer?”
Hanazono looked up,
her long eyelashes trembling slightly.
“…Yeah. Let’s be together from now on.”
The gears clicked into place.
They turned.
They started spinning.
The gears of love accelerated with a loud, powerful sound.
TLNOTE : English translation of Classmates With the girls I Was Close to Loving (LN) Volume 2 will begin when the bar above reaches 100%
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