“Absolutely. And we’ll prove it!”
It was obvious they were about to launch some ridiculous scheme, but people who are alike can go ahead and destroy each other on their own.Watching a sinking ship with a sense of resignation gave me a strange sense of pleasure.
“With the help of Tsubasa-kun here!”
“…Huh?”
The fact that I couldn’t predict that stray bullet coming my way just shows how much I still lack in crisis management.
A succubus, a werecat, a yuki-onna, and a bat.
This cheerful party (definitely not a harem) had banded together and arrived at the first-floor infirmary. As the sign on the door—“Not in. If you need assistance, please go to the staff room”—suggested, the school nurse was nowhere to be seen, probably off handling administrative work.
“Saved us the trouble of clearing the room.”
Saku-senpai smirks in the sterile space, like a mad scientist prepping an experiment.
“Tsubasa-kun, Make yourself comfortableand and lie down here.”
She strips the bed, patting the white sheets. The uniform + bedding combo screams “budget hostess club.”
“I’m not sleepy.”
“You don’t need to sleep—just lie down.”
“…Care to explain?”
Sighing, I naturally found myself sitting on the bed. From experience, there had never been a case where I successfully escaped from her in this state, and if the result would be the same anyway, it was easier on my stomach not to struggle.
“To help you overcome Hikami-sensei’s trauma, we’ll conduct a simple game—I mean, clinical trial.”
“I can only pray that safety is guaranteed… What’s the content?”
“First, you’ll lie down on this bed while blindfolded.”
“Already sounds nothing but dangerous.”
“Next, we’ll randomly take turns sleeping next to you.”
While thinking that was getting even more questionable visually, I could roughly guess what the purpose was.
“W-w-wait… when you say ‘we,’ does that include me too!?”
To Shishihara, who raised this natural concern, Saku-senpai gave the merciless answer: “Of course.”
“And finally, Tsubasa-kun will fairly choose which woman’s sleeping next to him felt the most comfortable. How’s that? Quite an exciting event, don’t you think?”
Facing the nihilistically smiling game master, Shishihara shook her head with all her might. “No no no!”
“I can’t do it! I’ve never had any experience sleeping next to a boy, not even once!”
“Oh my, are you saying you’d be unsatisfied if Tsubasa-kun was your first?”
“Right now I’d be unsatisfied with anyone as my partner!”
“It’s okay. Technically it’s not really sleeping together. You don’t have to have your bodies touching. No touching allowed—just purely lying down on the same bed, okay?”
“Ugh… but what if he suddenly goes ‘grab!’ I might get scared and cry…”
“Then let’s do this. We’ll tie Tsubasa-kun’s hands to take away his freedom, and he’ll maintain a position lying on his side. We’ll lie down behind his back. That way there’s no worry about being attacked, right?”
“W-well, if it’s like that… b-but, sorry, I personally have one more concern.”
The girl pulled at the front of her shirt and stuck her nose into it.
“Sniff, hah… it’s right at the max level of daily fatigue and other stuff building up—that kind of smell.”
“It’s the kind of smell that could sell if we canned it… but you’re right, to be fair we need to prevent smell detection too. So we’ll have Tsubasa-kun wear nose plugs as well.”
Saku-senpai was steadily filling in the gaps in the regulations. But of course, her real intention was something else.
To put it briefly, this was a completely rigged game. My assigned mission was to praise sensei’s sleeping next to me with glowing reviews while completely trashing the other two. It was entirely a plan to comfort Hikami-sensei’s broken heart, but there’s no way a grown adult would be pleased by such an obvious setup play—
“Saiin-kun, let me confirm the rules first.”
Crack, crack. Looking toward the sound of creaking bones, there was Hikami-sensei doing thorough shoulder blade stretches. The drowsiness had vanished from her eyes, replaced by a hunter targeting prey.
“The rule is basically no touching, but accidental contact doesn’t count, right?”
“That’s fine. As long as it doesn’t become a back-room option.”
“Got it… this gets my blood pumping.”
Without question, the face of a woman coming at full strength to win. Her opponent was a high school girl, the test subject was also an unremarkable high school boy—would she really be happy to win first place? Wouldn’t her pride be hurt?
In any case, the mysterious clinical trial was about to begin with unanimous consent.
“U-um, Komori-kun? Hey, hey.”
“…Hmm?”
To me, who had already taken off my shoes and was on the bed, watching the proceedings in a pose resembling a reclining Buddha statue, Shishihara said with an exasperated expression, “You’re completely enlightened, but…”
“According to the current rules, Komori-kun will be blindfolded, nose-plugged, and have his hands tied. You’ll be put to sleep in a state that doesn’t seem like a law-abiding country would allow, you know?”
“Seems like it. Sorry for dragging you into this criminal-like game.”
“I don’t mind that. Don’t you have any complaints?”
“There doesn’t seem to be any danger to my life, so not this time.”
“There have been times when there was!?”
“Multiple times. The one with liquid nitrogen nearly killed me the most. Well, compared to that, this is a hundred times better.”
“A-are you okay? Your senses aren’t numb, are they?”
“I’d like to say I’ve built up a tolerance.”
“Well, if you’re fine… u-um! That thing I said about being scared of getting ‘grabbed!’ earlier was just speaking generally, okay? It’s not like I’m rejecting it because it’s you, Komori-kun, not at all!”
“What exactly are you overthinking? But the fact that you can naturally avoid hurting anyone proves you have a kind heart. Please, don’t let me or Saku-senpai corrupt you—stay just as you are, Shishihara.”
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT GADGETIZEDPANDA.COM
A while later.
A lone man lay on the nurse’s office bed—wearing an eye mask Saku-senpai had brought from who-knows-where, clip-style nose plugs (also procured mysteriously), and toy handcuffs (D○ki brand). That man, by the way, was me. The scene was far more inhumane than I’d imagined.
The sleeping conditions? To put it mildly: awful. Despite it being a single bed, space was forcibly left behind me, leaving me teetering on the edge—one slight push and I’d fall. My hands were restrained in front, but since the cuffs could be undone easily, this was just a gentleman’s agreement.
If an outsider saw this, my life would be over. Best to empty my mind and get it over with.
“Ahh, preparations are complete. First participant, please step forward.”
Giving instructions to someone I couldn’t see was surreal. Since we were avoiding voice recognition, I’d been assigned the role of facilitator. This was rigged from the start, but the order was genuinely unknown to me—
meaning I now had the duty of figuring out when Hikami-sensei’s turn would be.
I’d already experienced her coldness firsthand when she’d nursed me before. I’d assumed this would be easy, but with my vision plunged into darkness, unease crept in. Saku-senpai and Shishihara would likely be hard to distinguish—not that it mattered since they were just extras.
Kiii— A faint sound. My still-functional hearing informed me that someone had leaned their weight onto the bed behind me. But after that—silence. No breathing, no movement. They must’ve been perched on the very edge—close enough to sense, but not touching.
In other words, I had zero information to work with.
“…………”
“…………”
Let me say this with absolute certainty: this was 100% Shishihara.
No question. She was way too restless.
Not a single millimeter of contact, yet her nervousness practically radiated through the air. Mixed in was something even more off—a fluttering heartbeat? My ESP-like senses picked up desperate “Forgive me!” vibes, and I almost felt bad for her.
“…Okay. I’ve got it, so you can leave now.”
The moment I gave the order, the bedsprings creaked loudly.
The speed at which she bolted screamed “Thank god!” If we ever played Werewolf, Shishihara would be the first to die. (The game, not the mutant.)
“Alright, next up—second participant, please.”
Two more to go. I sighed at the sheer absurdity of it all when—
“…Huh?”
Something touched my back—just below the shoulder blade.
Unlike the first, this presence arrived silently, yet assertively (??). It felt hard and weighty.
If I had to guess? Most likely a shoulder, dark-horse candidate: an elbow. Knees were too low. Definitely not a lucky pervert’s dream like a chest, butt, or thigh.
And this woman (unlike Shishihara, presumably) was unnervingly calm.
Not a single twitch. Cold and inorganic—like a frozen tuna lined up at the fish market…
—Ah. This is Hikami-sensei.
No doubt. Zero sense of human warmth. A literal snow woman.
To put it politely? Slightly creepy. I could see why her ex called her “a corpse”—though saying that out loud would just traumatize her further, so I’d better sugarcoat it. Still, her body was way too bony. Lay off the booze and eat some protein.
“Okay… I’ve had enough. Next, please.”
The pressure on my back vanished. As silently as she’d arrived. Not that I was comparing, but Hikami-sensei must’ve been featherlight. Too thin for someone with curves. Hope she’s not hooked on some weird diet.
“Haaah… Finally, the last one. Third participant, ple—WHOA?!”
A dinosaur-sized tremor shook the bed. Someone had launched themselves onto it the second I gave the go-ahead, creating a minor earthquake.
That alone wouldn’t have made me yelp “WHOA?!” like an idiot, but—
“? ?? ??? ?????”
Again, something touched my shoulder blade—throwing my brain into chaos.
This time, it wasn’t hard, inorganic, or bony. It was soft, fleshy, and probably packed with fat. Spherical. Two of them. If I had to describe the texture: squishy dumplings pressed against my back.
If asked what body part this was, I’d answer without hesitation: chest. Full, voluptuous—breasts, to put it bluntly.
—But that was impossible.
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