I learned to appreciate spaces where I didn’t have to worry about people’s eyes, and at the same time, I became reluctant to go to places where people’s eyes were on me.
Especially places where classmates might be walking, and my alone time increased dramatically.
During that time, I was consumed with regret.
Why did I misunderstand?
Why don’t I have any allies?
Why do even the guys who were supposed to be my friends ignore me?
Why did Seto and Miyabi, who were supposed to be my friends, start attacking me?
If just failing at confession leads to isolation, then danger was always lurking.
If I had acted better then.
If I could have moved without making enemies then.
Regret is thought.
Without the courage to act on fantasies of retaliation, just thinking was my only salvation.
Perhaps sensing something in my expression, Hanazono relaxed her expression and then turned her gaze back outside.
“……I see, Yosshi went through various things too. Sorry for making you remember.”
“Yeah. It’s not something for Hanazono to worry about……but as you know, middle school didn’t go very well for me. At least, starting to think about various things was influenced by that.”
“I see.”
Hanazono gave a short answer and closed the window.
It’s actually awkward.
But I felt relieved by Hanazono, who didn’t seem to mind the past facts.
That’s because it means she accepts who I am now.
“I was worried too.”
“Huh?”
“In middle school, I tried to hide that things weren’t going well and make myself look cool. But as you know, reality was completely different. I was worried you’d be disappointed.”
Hanazono blinked.
“I wouldn’t be disappointed. I could tell various things from how Yosshi spoke.”
“Well, I guess so. If I talked that much, it would be obvious.”
“No. I’m probably just a bit sensitive to that kind of thing.”
“Hm?”
“Originally, I didn’t want to have expectations of anyone. Even being confessed to made me sick of it. I was probably at my limit.”
I recalled.
──Smartphone alarms become annoying before you know it, right? There were too many boys like that before.
At that time, Hanazono was revealing her true feelings.
“……That’s right.”
“Yeah. So maybe I had feelings of wanting to escape quickly.”
……I didn’t think it was a good flow, but I didn’t have the courage to stop it either.
I could only press my lips together.
Hanazono smiled modestly.
“Then, there was someone I thought I could date for the first time. So I finally started dating.”
“Hey, hey. Does that mean I was just to avoid boys?”
When I asked half-jokingly, inwardly trembling, Hanazono immediately shook her head.
“No. I mean I’m glad Yosshi confessed to me before I had to accept someone’s confession for that purpose.”
I was stunned by the straightforward answer.
While I couldn’t respond, Hanazono continued.
“I’m happy to be dating Yosshi. It’s not about avoiding boys or anything like that.”
“W-well, thanks.”
“Hehe.”
Hanazono lowered the corners of her eyes and showed a gentle smile.
……I wonder if she had feelings for me to some extent from before.
As I was recalling the good atmosphere we had, Hanazono spoke up.
“Are you free today? I want to go on a date after school.”
“T-that’s sudden again.”
“Yeah. It would be pathetic as a girlfriend if I don’t feel like it’s real.”
“That’s not true.”
“I think it is. Is it no good?”
I felt dizzy from Hanazono’s upward gaze.
……There’s no way it could be no good.
That proposal was something that made being a boyfriend worthwhile.
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT gadgetizedpanda.net
Perhaps because the date with Hanazono was decided, fifth period passed in a flash.
To prepare for sixth period, I reached for the textbooks in my desk.
“……Hmm.”
It was so packed I couldn’t pull them out.
Checking each book individually seemed too troublesome, so I had no choice but to grab the edge of the textbooks firmly and pull out the entire row at once.
Several books fell to the floor with a rustling sound, and just as I was about to pick them up, someone stepped on them hard.
“Whoa!?”
Yuzuha lifted one foot and stared at me, the owner.
Then she smiled with relief.
“Oh, it’s Yoshiki’s. Sorry, sorry.”
“Did you just think ‘good thing it was me’?”
“I did!”
“Don’t admit it!!”
“Ahaha, sorry!”
Saying that, Yuzuha went around behind me and made an overly honest comment about the disaster in my desk: “Ugh, that’s dirty.”
“You should organize the inside of your desk. I mean, as common sense.”
“I don’t need to, I’m not particularly troubled.”
“I’ll step on your textbooks more often, you know?”
“Could you please make an effort to avoid them?”
Well, organizing would be the safe bet.
Recently, my desk has become packed for some reason, and I’ve had to rely on my locker.
When I looked at Yuzuha’s desk to find something to complain about, the contents were neatly organized. Too surprising.
When I was about to mention this, Yuzuha had already disappeared.
“Really free-spirited……”
I muttered half in amazement and stood up.
When I headed to my locker, several people in the hallway were similarly looking for textbooks.
In middle school, lockers were installed at the back of the classroom, but I prefer them being installed in the hallway now.
Since my seat is at the very back, it’s just for the blunt reason that people don’t gather behind me.
Since Remi was crouching down, I tried talking to her.
“Another day is coming to an end.”
A moment’s pause.
Then Remi turned around with a suspicious look.
“……Were you talking to me just now? Your conversation skills are terrible.”
“I thought so myself, but don’t criticize me any more than that, okay? I’ll develop conversation phobia.”
“You wouldn’t get that no matter what I say to you.”
Remi sighed and casually revealed a shocking fact.
“By the way, there’s apparently a Japanese quiz today. The one the teacher mentioned before that would significantly affect our grades.”
“……Seriously? Ugh, isn’t that span too short? And is this one a surprise quiz?”
“Yeah. When I went to the faculty room during lunch break, the teachers were talking. ‘It’s meaningful precisely because it’s a surprise quiz,’ they said.”
“You should have told me that a bit earlier! What can I do with only about five minutes left? I’m done for!”
“I did tell you. You just don’t look at your phone.”
When I took out my phone, messages had indeed arrived.
Three of them, one minute apart.
Remi [There’s apparently that quiz today]
Remi [Did you see the notification?]
Remi [Don’t blame me]
When I instinctively looked at Remi, she narrowed her eyes as if to say “just like I said.”
“No, no, who would actually ignore it after that! Why didn’t you tell me directly?”
“I don’t owe you that much.”
“Isn’t childhood friendship not about owing?”
“So what? I’m at least talking to you.”
“Ugh……you really are so cold lately……I understand the intention, but treating me coldly is wrong……”
“D-don’t get hurt. I’m sorry.”
Remi apologized somewhat awkwardly.
She’s probably trying to consciously distance herself, but the fact that she apologizes immediately shows her good nature.
Honestly, I wanted to refuse taking distance from Remi.
It’s easy to separate from people.
But it’s difficult to get close again.
Of course, personally inviting her to my house and such would be NG in the future, but talking at school should be fine.
Class relationships aren’t just about Hanazono and me.
“But if you can’t get a good score, it’s entirely your fault. Please understand that.”
“……That’s true.”
I’m fully aware that it’s my own fault for not preparing regularly.
I had an allergic reaction to the reality of potentially getting a terrible score on the test, but thinking about it, it’s not a problem to be dramatically depressed about.
“Well, failing a little quiz won’t matter much. There are regular tests, so I can make up for it plenty.”
When I said this to encourage myself, Remi looked away once.
Then she took out a notebook from her locker and held it out to me.
“……I’ll lend this to you. I’ve marked most of the places the teacher is likely to put on the test.”
“Huh, is that okay?”
“I’ll consider it a favor. If the quiz is at the end of class, I think it’s worth struggling.”
“Seriously, thanks, that helps a lot. ……But is the notebook really okay? I mean, this is really rude, but the accuracy of the content and such.”
I don’t know Remi’s grades at all.
She should have been better than me in elementary school, but since I was below average, that’s not very reliable now.
Perhaps sensing my concern, Remi frowned.
“Are you underestimating me? I was top overall at my previous school.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes. Ryouta might not know, but this high school is actually harder to transfer into.”
“Most grateful!”
“You’re so blunt…”
Along with an exasperated voice, the notebook was handed to me.
Come to think of it, when I was little, I went to Remi’s house to borrow kanji workbooks several times.
When I took Remi’s notebook, I suddenly remembered that.
When I returned to the classroom, Yuzuha was wandering around my seat.
“What’s wrong?”
“Oh, Yoshiki. Do you want my notebook?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Why not?! I was second in the grade in the last Japanese test!”
“I got it from someone who’s a candidate for overall top.”
When I announced proudly, Yuzuha pouted.
Who would have thought that even in high school, I’d be helped by Remi on a quiz.
However, my expectations were off.
Despite memorizing all the marked places, not a single problem on the test matched what was covered.
The result was 45 points.
Given that Remi got a perfect score, it seemed Remi was a grade-point gorilla type who just lacked prediction ability.
While grateful for my childhood friend’s consideration, I resolved to borrow from Yuzuha next time.
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