“What’s the temperature?”
“38.8 degrees.”
“You really do have a fever.”
Remi furrowed her brow with concern.
“I was planning to leave soon, but are you really going to be okay?”
“I’ll be fine. What about you, Remi? Will you be okay being this late?”
“No problem. I already told the teacher I wasn’t feeling well.”
“Eh, did you tell them about me too?”
Remi blinked and let out a small sigh.
“I kept your condition secret. I just said I was feeling unwell too.”
“Huh? Why?”
“Why… it would be strange if I knew about Ryota’s condition, wouldn’t it? It’s better to avoid the risk of Hanazono-san finding out about this. So make sure you contact the teacher yourself.”
I was somewhat disappointed by my childhood friend’s words, but there was no helping it.
Certainly, in our current high school life, there would be nothing good about people knowing that Nikaido Remi and I continue to have a family-level relationship.
The moment we step out of the simple childhood friend framework, we become targets of curious stares.
Especially for Remi, who plays the role of a model student.
“But I don’t think Hanazono would mind. Today’s absence really is due to illness.”
“What makes you think that?”
Remi asked casually while combing her hair.
“Hmm. A boyfriend’s intuition.”
“How noisy.”
“Hahaha. My honest opinion is that she seems much more open-minded than me.”
“Oh really? That condition doesn’t narrow it down at all, does it?”
“…What do you mean by that!”
“Ahaha, you’re so slow to understand.”
Remi laughed lightly and looked up at the ceiling.
“I wonder about Hanazono-san.”
“Nn, what do you mean?”
“Just what I said. I don’t know about her usual tolerance, but don’t ordinary girls want to look good to their boyfriends? She might be putting on airs.”
“…Is that how it is? If you had a boyfriend, Remi, would you put on airs too?”
If that were the case, there would be some convincing logic to Remi’s argument.
In my mind, Remi also falls into the category of open-minded girls.
Remi tilted her head slightly and looked away.
“Well… I wonder. If I had a boyfriend, that is.”
“Yeah.”
A brief silence.
Then Remi spoke up.
“I suppose I might.”
“Huh, that’s unexpected. So Remi is a girl after all.”
“Could you tell me what you thought I was until now?”
“The epitome of girliness, I’m sorry. …Well, maybe it was smart of you to say you were feeling unwell too.”
Even though this probably won’t be found out anyway, it could raise suspicions later when it’s discovered that our houses are next to each other.
But I felt unsettled.
“Why do we have to hide it?”
“Eh?”
I understand the logic.
If something might make your girlfriend feel bad, you should stop doing it. If it happens unintentionally, you should at least hide it.
I was feeling disgusted by the reality that I had to think this way just because my childhood friend took care of me when I was sick.
Perhaps sensing something from my comment, Remi added:
“From a girlfriend’s perspective, she’d normally feel uncomfortable just having another girl in the house. You need to be more conscious of that kind of ethics.”
“I understand that much. I was being considerate, you know? But when our houses are next to each other and our families have close relationships, it’s impossible to completely restrict that. Seira is here too, and I’m not living alone.”
“…That’s true. But I’m talking about the issue of Hanazono-san’s feelings.”
Remi looked down and closed her mouth.
…Remi’s thinking is probably more mature.
She considers the people around her based on what’s happening and tries to correct the cause. No matter how you look at it, Remi is right.
Even so, is it really right to make existing human relationships take a step back?
“Originally, I never wanted to distance myself from you. I understand there are parts where I have to, so I’m doing it reluctantly.”
“…That’s what it means to have a romantic partner.”
“That’s right. It’s probably just how it is. I understand, but…”
I’m the strange one for being dissatisfied.
It’s the fever. It’s because of the fever.
My brain is getting heated up like it’s being simmered, making me deviate from my usual thinking.
Even so.
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I’ve been with Remi since I was old enough to remember.
We played outside until our bodies were covered in sweat and mud, and spent countless days together at home.
After reuniting with that childhood friend, we were able to return to our old relationship for just one month. No, we still hadn’t completely returned to it.
Because I started dating Hanazono, our relationship will never go back to what it was.
When you gain something, something else spills from your palm.
From Remi’s perspective, she gained nothing from me dating Hanazono.
Yet she can accept it so well. If I were in Remi’s position, I would have been greatly dissatisfied.
Even though she probably doesn’t even recognize me, her childhood friend, as something that’s spilling away.
“…I’m probably just being childish for feeling dissatisfied.”
After all, I’m the one who fell for Hanazono, I’m the one who asked Remi for help, and I got good results.
Having been satisfied with the current situation, it’s wrong of me to think this way.
Remi looked at me with worried eyes and softened her cheeks just a little.
“…I don’t know. If you’re feeling lonely, I don’t think that feeling is childish. But realistically, there are things that can’t be helped.”
Why is she giving such a mature answer?
When Remi gets a boyfriend and the distance between us grows even further, will I come to understand how Remi feels now?
“I think romance is something that helps you grow as a person. Ryota’s inner conflict, regardless of its content, is probably right. No, I’m sure you’ll be able to handle it right in the future.”
Remi said that and looked away.
Those words that seemed to melt into my chest made me want to talk more.
“Well, I’m really going now.”
“Wait a minute. Remi, aren’t you going to get a boyfriend?”
“Geez. How many times are you going to stop me?”
Despite complaining about my sudden question, Remi sat back down on the sofa.
“Fine. Why do you ask?”
“Well…”
I certainly can’t voice the thoughts I just had.
──Who do you think you are just because you got a girlfriend? Hoping to return to the old relationship is unrealistic now that we’re in high school. You’re getting too carried away.
Because countless rebuttals like that keep surfacing in my mind.
“…What kind of face are you making?”
Remi muttered that and leaned back against the sofa.
When I tried to make excuses, Remi stopped me with “It’s fine.”
“I don’t want a boyfriend.”
“Why not?”
“Because there are no candidates.”
It was a simple answer.
So I waited for her to elaborate, and Remi continued.
“Even if I try to keep acting ladylike, I’m aware that I’ll reach my limit eventually. My personality isn’t as good as I’m currently pretending it to be.”
“Ooh… it’s impressive that you’re self-aware about that.”
“Could you deny it a little?”
“No, I think you have a good personality, but I mean it’s different from your current image!”
Remi narrowed her eyes and relaxed her mouth, saying “I’ll forgive you.”
When I laughed along, I coughed violently from the sharp pain in my throat.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Please continue.”
When I prompted her, Remi nodded slightly.
“My true self might be exposed eventually. When that happens, I don’t think it will last unless that person thinks my real self is a good gap… no, still a good person. I don’t expect there to be someone like that. That’s what I think.”
“Why do you think that? There are plenty of guys like that.”
“There might be that possibility. I just said I don’t expect it to really be the case. I’m not particularly hoping for a boyfriend anyway, so I don’t need to think deeply about it.”
…Whether it’s really the case is unknown, huh.
“Hanazono said something similar.”
“Oh really? That girl did.”
“…That girl?”
Remi made a face like she’d messed up.
Given Remi’s personality, calling someone “that girl” means she’s a female student she has interactions with, or had interactions with.
It’s probably a remnant from elementary school when she was the genuine class leader.
“Are you and Hanazono on speaking terms? I don’t remember seeing you talk much.”
“…No comment.”
“I’ve never seen you talk, but were you actually pretty close? I should ask her about it.”
“Don’t, it’s not like that.”
I felt something odd about Remi’s response.
But before I could put it into words, Remi added:
“Hanazono-san and I went to the same middle school.”
“…Seriously? I’ve never heard that from Hanazono.”
“That’s not surprising. We weren’t particularly close.”
“Hey, don’t say things like that so bluntly, she’s my girlfriend.”
“But it’s the truth.”
Remi returned the words with a sulky expression.
I scratched my hair and sighed.
“Well, if she had an acquaintance other than me at the school she transferred to, it would be normal to talk to them. If you weren’t close, that makes sense. Still, to be told this after we started dating…”
“I missed the timing to mention it. Once I let it slide, I couldn’t figure out when to bring it up.”
“Ah. Like how once you miss a day of school, it becomes hard to go back.”
“I don’t know about that phenomenon.”
“Huh, isn’t that universal?”
Given Remi’s excellent grades, she’s probably being serious.
I’ve given up on aligning our values in this area, so I returned to the topic.
“Whatever. So is Hanazono the same as you, not saying anything to me?”
“I think so. …But you don’t need to be considerate of me. It’s good news that you got a girlfriend. You two were already getting along well, weren’t you?”
Remi answered in a melancholy voice and stood up.
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