“Guh…… Do you not even know the principle of obeying orders, you bastardddddd!”
“Whether I obey or not, it will be capital punishment anyway, right?”
“Th-That is not true. If you do the job properly, I might not not grant you some favors.”
“I don’t believe a mere Major like you has that kind of authority. You’re just trailing behind Colonel Gedol like a piece of goldfish poop, aren’t you?”
“Guh…… Don’t screw with me.”
“I am not screwing with you. I don’t trust you, either. You plan to use me as much as you can, and if this negotiation succeeds, you’ll cut me loose, right? I want absolutely no part in lending a hand to that.”
“……Hk.”
Bullseye. An overwhelming bullseye. He had seen through all of Simanto’s intentions.
“Besides, I have no desire to eat horse manure.”
!?
“L-Lorenzo, is it…… that traitor!”
“It’s not you, after all. That man negotiated tenaciously; honestly, he was tough to deal with. Trying to squeeze out your infinitely few good points and the merits to the Empire.”
“Then…… why.”
“The walls of the military strategy room should be soundproofed. Your unpleasant laughter is unbearable to listen to.”
“Guh…… You heard it.”
Major Simanto felt despair at the fact that he was now completely designated as an enemy. I have to do something… I have to do something… He repeated those words in his brain over and over.
In the next instant, Major Simanto slammed his knees, head, and palms onto the floor.
It was a Dogeza.
“I beg you! Look, I’m begging you! For the future of the Empire, please… I apologize for the disrespect I showed you!”
“……Haa.”
Hazen sighed deeply and closed his book. Then, he approached Major Simanto with a smile on his face.
“Please, lift your face.”
“Lieutenant Hazen…… Gah!”
In the next instant, Hazen’s sole fit perfectly onto his face.
“If apologizing settled things, we wouldn’t need Imperial Generals, you know. Because of your offensive words, my future vision has largely collapsed. How exactly do you intend to take responsibility?”
“Gugggh…… I am truly sorry. I apologize. I will appeal directly to Colonel Gedol to have the charge of disrespect covered up! I absolutely will!”
“I cannot trust your words. At the very least, unless we properly conclude a magical contract, it is simply impossible.”
“Th-That is……”
“See, you’re lying, aren’t you? You apologize with just your mouth, and the moment I let my guard down, you’ll stab me in the back. It seems this Empire is rotten with superior officers of your type.”
Grind, grind. Hazen rubbed Major Simanto’s face with his foot.
“Fugyuuu…… I-I’ll do it! I’ll do it! I will conclude a magical contract. Is that acceptable? If there is anything else I can do, I will do anything. Money? A promotion? I will offer whatever accommodation is possible.”
“……Anything?”
At that moment, Hazen’s words came to a sudden halt.
“Y-Yeah. Anything! Large gold coins? A special promotion to Captain? Say whatever you want.”
“Is that so…… In that case. Yan.”
Hazen called out to the girl who was watching the situation in dumbfounded silence by his side.
“Wh-What is it?”
“Bring me horse manure.”
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT gadgetizedpanda.net
……Time stopped.
“Eh?”
Major Simanto asked back.
“Eh?”
Yan also asked back.
“Good grief. Major Simanto, you seem to lack comprehension skills, and your hearing is bad, too. Yan, you don’t need to act like that. You understand what I am trying to say, don’t you?”
told this, the pink-haired girl took several steps back.
“I-I understand, or rather… I understand it, but I can’t comprehend it, or rather… Master, are you perhaps telling Major Simanto to [Eat horse manure]?”
“Hmm? That is correct.”
“……”
“……”
“What kind of stupid thing are you saying———!”
Yan’s voice echoed throughout the room.
“Stupid or not.”
“P-Please don’t just brush it off lightly! Why are you making him do such a thing? Don’t you think he’s pitiful!?”
“Pitiful? I cannot understand what you are saying at all. The one who was trying to make me perform such an act was none other than Major Simanto, you know? Cunning as he is, the moment he grasped a person’s weakness, he tried to force me into that humiliating act. That is unforgivable.”
“Isn’t it fine, whatever! After all, there’s no way he could possibly make Master do something like that!?”
“The result is not the issue. My style is to strike back before I am struck. If I only retaliated after the opponent committed the act, I wouldn’t make it in time. Therefore, I retaliate before the opponent does it.”
“I-Isn’t that just a one-sided trampling!?”
“Only if I did it to someone without malice. Since I clearly sense Major Simanto’s malice, I will pay him back thoroughly. I show no mercy to a blade turned against me.”
“Hii……”
He is too much of an abnormality. Major Simanto trembled from the bottom of his heart. He couldn’t understand a single thing the man had been saying for a while now.
Must he, a superior officer’s superior officer, be made to grovel, be kicked around, and finally be forced to eat horse manure by this man, who was a subordinate’s subordinate?
Who was it that thought up such cruel treatment?
“If you don’t want to, that’s fine, you know? In fact, since it is a waste of time, I would prefer you leave quickly.”
“…!”
Smile. Major Simanto looked through the shoe at Hazen, who wore a carefree smile.
Of course, he absolutely did not want to eat horse manure. After all, that was the line that came out of his own mouth when he tried to think of the most humiliating act possible.
However.
“Gah…… guhh…… gogah…… gehaaaan.”
If he doesn’t eat, he is demoted from Major. If he eats, Lieutenant Colonel. If he doesn’t eat, demotion. If he eats, Lieutenant Colonel. Round and round and round. The two options circulated in Major Simanto’s head like a carousel.
Eventually, he asked while exhaling heavily.
“……If I eat it, you say you will lend me your strength?”
“Yes. Of course. If you accept humiliation to that extent, I will honor your resolve.”
“……Unders—”
“Funnuuu—! That is enough already! I can’t take it anymore!”
At that moment, Yan, furiously angry, swept the foot away from Major Simanto’s face.
“I will take on the job of interpreter for the Kumin tribe! There is no need to do such a thing!”
“Eh…… You can speak it too?”
Major Simanto looked toward Yan with an expression of disbelief. A child like this, who didn’t even look six years old? But, he wanted to believe. No, he needed to be made to believe.
Because…… truthfully, he did not want to eat horse manure.
“I-I beg of you! Yan, was it? Be my interpreter—”
“As if I would permit such a thing.”
!?
“Ha…… Hazen-Heim———————!”
Major Simanto lost himself and tried to attack fiercely. However, in the next instant, he suddenly felt a heaviness and collapsed onto the floor.
“Ga, Gahaa!?”
“My apologies. There was some poop on the floor.”
Hazen answered while looking down at Major Simanto, who was embedded in the floor. Since this was his own room, of course, no such thing would be on the floor, but his gaze was fixed on one point. He was staring right through Major Simanto.
Before anyone realized it, he had been designated as poop.
“Master!? Y-Y-You, isn’t that… that staff?”
Yan turned a jaw-dropped expression toward Hazen. that staff was the gravity-manipulating magic staff that had buried Nidel, the Cavalry Commander, in the recent war.
“It is self-defense. Besides, I haven’t put that much power into it. It’s just that, whenever there is poop, I make it a rule to assimilate it into the ground to accelerate decomposition. That way, it becomes fertilizer sooner, and plants grow better. That is better for the world.”
“What cruel things are you doing! A-Are you okay?”
Yan tried desperately to wake him, but he was crunched into the floor and wouldn’t move an inch.
“N-No good. Miss Leifa! Come here for a second!”
“W-What’s wrong! Enemies!?”
Leifa, who was still recovering in the next room, rushed in frantically.
“What is this situation!?”
“Are you okay to be up already?”
“The current situation is totally not okay!”
Flustered, she tried to use her superhuman strength to save Major Simanto.
“Oi, that poop is a man not worth saving, you know? Much less is there any need for you to save him.”
“Haa…… Hazen. When a person is embedded, you pull them out.”
“……Well, do as you like. You have the right to refuse what I say, after all.”
“Wh-Why is Miss Leifa allowed, but I’m not?”
Yan glared at Hazen.
“She is a friend from the Academy. There is an employment relationship, but we are strictly equals. Therefore, she is free to refuse my requests or proposals. However, Yan. I have a financial subordination relationship with you, so unless you pay that off, it is absolute obedience.”
“Then, I just have to pay, right?”
“No.”
“Wh-Why!?”
“Since you are in the position of a protected dependent, you do not have the right to cancel the contract in the first place.”
“Then, is this acceptable?”
Yan placed a single sheet of parchment on the desk.
“……Tch.”
Immediately, the color drained from Hazen’s face, which had been composed until just a moment ago.
“Power of attorney…… Since when.”
“Did you think I wouldn’t look through the contract? I got this when I went back to the orphanage the other day. I had the Director sign it properly. This is fine, right?”
“……However, even if you wish to cancel, you are required to pay me 10 large gold coins. Most likely, you are thinking of relying on Nandal or Queen Barcia, but as expected, you cannot prepare such a large sum.”
“Fuffuffu, he’s right here, isn’t he? Hey, Major Simanto?”
“……Eh?”
“Please pay 10 large gold coins and conclude a contract with me.”
Yan smiled brightly.
“I see. Certainly, Major Simanto’s family is of high-ranking nobility. Incidentally…… you were relatives with Mospitza, were you not?”
“D-Don’t speak of that failure!?”
“……You’re exactly like him, ironically.”
“Kuh……”
“However, well, I don’t think he would pay a massive sum like 10 large gold coins.”
Hazen wore an expression of composure.
And that was only natural. One large gold coin was equivalent to the lifetime earnings of a Major class. Ten times that amount was a sum that comfortably exceeded the lifetime earnings of a Colonel class.
But.
“I’ll pay.”
“……What?”
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