Episode 2: I Became a Kindergartner
A lot has happened, but for some reason, I am energetic.
However, because it was discovered that I was near that bizarre accident at the park, my grounding was extended by another week for a precautionary hospitalization check-up.
Apparently, it was shocking for a toddler to encounter? So, more counseling and such. By the way, there haven’t been any rumors about me. Well, even if there were witnesses, they’d probably doubt their own eyes first.
Honestly, I had a lot of things I wanted to think about, so the downtime helped, but…
How was I able to do something like that?
I, who am so frail I can’t even bend a plastic spoon, did it as if it were simply “natural.”
I don’t understand myself… The moment I felt anger toward the existence that scared Koto-chan, I don’t know why, but I just thought, I can do this.
Well, there’s no point in thinking too deeply about it. I won’t find an answer anyway, and I seem to be bad at agonizing over complicated things.
There is something far more important than that. That is! Starting today, I am returning to kindergarten! (Applause)
Am I seriously going to be okay!?
“Alriiiight! You look so cute, Yuzu.”
The kindergarten uniform, which I slipped my arms into for the first time since becoming like this, was about two grades higher in quality than I imagined.
Whoa… this looks super expensive. (My inner commoner speaks).
Q: Do kindergartens have uniforms instead of smocks? A: They do.
That is because the kindergarten I attend is the affiliated kindergarten of the famous Takamine Academy, where Koto-chan and Oba-onii-chan go! (Dun dun duuun)
What is with these sound effects!?
Spending a fortune on clothes that won’t fit in two or three years is such a waste. But apparently, there are children from ordinary families at the kindergarten too. It seems that recently, getting hand-me-downs through flea market apps has become normalized.
My family feels like we aren’t upper class, but not exactly a standard household either.
Anyway, now that I know I’m not normal, I plan to stay quiet at kindergarten until I figure out how I can do those things. Since there are children from families that do business with Father’s company, I plan to play the hypocrite—I mean, keep up appearances.
See, if I stay quiet, I look exactly like a perfect “sheltered young lady”…But, there is something a bit off about me…
“Yuzu… you look especially cute today. Did your skin get glossier?”
“Hmm? I don’t know.”
Koto-chan, who was combing my hair, looked puzzled.
What I mean by “off” is that my appearance, you see, has changed juuuuust a little bit since that day.
My quiet look and sleepy, drooping eyes haven’t changed, but I feel like the subtle “distortions” have vanished. My eyes aren’t puffy when I wake up in the morning, and my face doesn’t swell anymore. My skin is mochi-mochi soft and bouncy, and even though my tan has faded leaving me pale, my complexion is healthy.
And, an impossibly perfect symmetry…
My hair and eyelashes are glossy, my features are distinct; I look less like a human and more like an exquisite “Bisque Doll.”
…If a child sees this, won’t they be creeped out?
“…Haaah~…”
“What’s wrong, Yuzu? You’re cute as always today, so you’ll be fine.”
Oba-onii-chan says this as he carries me to the car, but my family is generally rough around the edges, so I can’t rely on their judgment.
It’s not just Oba-onii-chan; Koto-chan, who dotes on me, also wants to carry me. However, since she is still a middle schooler, her arms aren’t strong enough, and it would wrinkle the clothes she carefully prepared for me, so she seems to be restraining herself with effort akin to vomiting blood.
Is it that serious…? Personnel specifically for carrying? Weird words are popping into my head.
By the way, Koto-chan did my hair today. Usually, I have straight black hair with bangs cut straight across that goes down to my collarbone, but since it’s my first day back in a while, she tied it up on the left and right with red ribbons.
Is this what they call twintails? It looks cute, but it feels very “adult trying to make a child look cute,” which is a bit embarrassing.
Well, I can only pull off this hairstyle while I’m a kindergartner or maybe early elementary school, so let’s just enjoy it for now.
“Well then, we are departing.”
We only have one driver, so for the car drop-off, they deliver me first since my start time is earliest, and then head to the Middle and High School divisions, which are next to each other.
But hey… is it really okay for me to go when I can’t even remember my friends’ faces? Mother has apparently explained the situation to the kindergarten, but I am severely anxious.
Maybe, like with my family, I’ll remember them once I see their faces. Let’s ask God for help on that one. Please, God!
…Did the ground just shake?
“Yuzu! If you’re in trouble, don’t hold it in. Tell the teacher and call me!”
“If any boys bully you, Big Brother will beat them up, so tell me immediately!”
“…I’m off.”
It happens every time, but where does this tension come from? The two of them were shouting things like that from the car window until the very end after handing me over to the kindergarten teacher.
Well, anyway… sorry, Teacher! I don’t remember you at all!
Setting that aside…
“——And so, Yuzu-san has just recovered from an illness, so everyone, please be gentle with her.”
“””Ye~es.”””
What is the meaning of this? The story about my memory loss was completely omitted, and I shudder at the hurdle that is slowly being raised. Well, I suppose there is no point in telling complicated stories to kindergartners.
“…………”
And now, the other children are keeping their distance. See, they are creeped out by my appearance!
But from their perspective: It’s the Yuzu-chan they know, but something is different from the Yuzu-chan they know. She looks like a doll and is a little scary… is that the situation?
Even so, since this is the Takamine Affiliate, the children are sparkly. There are kids with naturally blonde hair and such. Did I really have any friends?
But, rest assured!
There was a close friend who called out to even someone like me!
“Yuzu-chan, are you oka~ay?”
The one who called out in a slightly slow, gentle voice was a boy who was juuuust a little bit chubby. (Almost a sphere).
“Um…”
Hmm. I feel like I’ve played with this child since we were even smaller.
Um, what was his name again…? Come on, it’s on the tip of my tongue! Come on, it’s that, that!
“It’s oka~ay. My dad heard about it from uncle.”
It seems he is a childhood friend with family ties, and he looked at me with concern, knowing the circumstances.
“I am Biouji Hansam. Do you remember?”
TLNOTE : Beautiful Prince Handsome
“…Huh!?”
Right, right, I remember… NOT!!
I was hit with a shock like a sudden thunderbolt, and my consciousness momentarily drifted away.
“Han…?”
“…Sam-kun! It’s been a while! I remember you!”
As he tilted his head in puzzlement, I continued with his name to gloss over my reaction.
This is how children pile up lies and become adults… (No).
Wow… that was a tremendous shock. My soul almost dissipated and vanished, but I barely made it back alive. (Seriously).
Hearing that name from the person’s own mouth packs destructive power that is off the charts. What kind of wish did this child’s parents put into giving him that fabulous name?
I’ve heard that sparkly names (Kira-kira names) are trendy among children recently, but I didn’t realize evolution had gone this far. …Was there no “Evolution Cancel” button?
This is bad… My hand is cramping from the urge to make so many tsukkomi (retorts) that I might get tendonitis.
But if I retort, I lose. If this child is my childhood friend, isn’t he the scion of [Nikunoham], the super-famous meat processing company that is also a business partner of my father?
It’s a major corporation! A major corporation on a national scale with capital and employee numbers digits apart from ours!
“I’m so gla~ad. You remembered me. I was worried.”
“S-sorry about that.”
He says this and smiles with a vague, good-natured face. Fortunately, it seems he doesn’t harbor doubts about his own name. …The karma runs deep.
As we talked, memories of him slowly floated to the surface.
He has a gentle and somewhat carefree personality. Partly due to his body shape, he seemed to have trouble dealing with energetic boys who teased him. Because of that, his friendships naturally skewed, and I feel like he only played with children like me who had family connections.
…That’s somewhat a waste. He’s a rich boy from a huge company, has a good personality, and looks… well, cute like a stuffed animal, yet he has few friends he can relax with.
I remembered a bunch of things; I guess strong impact makes things easier to recall…
“Yuzu-chan, let’s play over there?”
“Yeah. …But, is it okay with me?”
Won’t the other kids be put off if he’s with me? When I asked that, he blushed slightly and shook his head.
“I want to be with Yuzu-chan! Yuzu-chan is kind, and you don’t tease me, and, um, well… (because you’re cute).”
“Hmm?”
“Um… ah, I know. Let’s have a snack!”
“Eh… okay.”
Kindergarten hasn’t even been in session for an hour, and we’re having a snack? He took my hand, moved us, and handed me a “snack” he took out of a cooler box.
I stare at the whole high-grade round ham I received and make a silent resolution.
I will make him lose weight…
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT gadgetizedpanda.net
“…Yuzu-chan, what is this?”
“An elephant.”
The reaction from Beautiful Prince Handsome…-kun, spoken without malice, pierces my heart. …Ugh, even calling his name in my heart deals significant damage.
We, the “Camellia Class,” are currently in Clay Time.
The teacher (whose name I still can’t remember) gave the command “Let’s try making our favorite animals today,” so I started kneading the clay. See, I have experience and sensibilities that aren’t child-like, right? So, I tried hard to show a bit of a difference, and this is the result.
Huuh…? Why did it turn out like this? In front of my eyes, an overly avant-garde object is asserting its existence. Five minutes after I started making it, a girl near us had a terrified expression and was on the verge of tears.
No, is it that bad!? It’s pretty cute, right!? This feeling of blaspheming life and all!
Could it be that I’m actually clumsy…?
“I like your clay, Yuzu-chan~?”
If so, why are you averting your eyes…?
“Han… Hyamu-kun, is that a cow?”
“That’s right~. A Nihon Tankaku (Japanese Shorthorn).”
“Heeh…”
I see…? It was a cow for meat, which he loves so much. As expected of the scion of a famous meat enterprise, the love for meat is real!
At least make a cute sheep or something… well, maybe a pig would be cute too?
“I see, so Yuzu-chan likes pigs.”
“Eh… yeah.”
…I feel like I made the wrong choice.
Then, when recess came, the boys with a “bratty vibe” and the energetic girls cheered and ran out into the garden all at once. When those rich brats (prejudice) grow up, will they be popular with girls and eat them up? (Terrible prejudice).
Roughly half the remaining children are heading to the corner with picture books and building blocks.
In the midst of this, I grabbed his hand firmly to stop him as he slowly tried to take a bag of frankfurters (20% extra volume) out of the cooler box.
“Yuzu-chan, what’s wrong?”
“Han… Hyamu-kun, let’s go outside?”
I bit my tongue again! But I tried! However, he showed reluctance at my soul-whittling action and lowered his eyebrows.
“Hmm… well then, after I eat this.”
“Let’s go now! Right now! Okay?”
I clasped both my hands over his to prevent him from picking up new meat and pleaded with him head-on. He blushed just a little and squeezed back with his squishy hands.
“If it’s with Yuzu-chan, okay.”
He says that and nods with a nice smile. Let’s aim to escape metabolic syndrome. For him to make proper friends, we need to slim down first so he doesn’t get teased!
…Um… what do children this age play, again?
TLNOTE:
Hopefully the English publisher won’t ask me to stop translating this series!
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