I fought those creepy guys bare-handed, Hong Kong movie-style, with martial arts moves. It felt like something out of a dream. But seeing the government building’s collapse reported on the news like this just confirms it was real.
“And the news says there were zero casualties. When I jumped from the building, there were still tons of people inside—employees and stuff. Isn’t this some kind of conspiracy? Information suppression, right?”
As I ramble, I start considering possibilities the general public wouldn’t.
“But… maybe no one really died?”
I say that and glance at Her Majesty.
“After all, people who don’t die… actually exist.”
It’s something I’ve been wanting to ask for a while.
“There are others like Your Majesty, aren’t there? People who can’t die?”
I mean, I’m happy just being with Her Majesty, so I don’t need to know. If she doesn’t want to tell me, that’s fine. But… I am a little curious, so I ask casually.
“Your Majesty… just what are you?”
Her response?
“Madarame, your manners are atrocious.”
She said
“Ah, my bad.”
I say that and stuff the phone I’d been fiddling with back into my pocket. But she shakes her head—not what she meant.
To be fair, Her Majesty never scolds me for using my phone during meals. She’s guilty of bad table manners herself. When she eats at British Shop while watching her favorite yakuza movies, she gets so into it she usually ends up spilling soup everywhere. I wipe it up for her.
In other words, Her Majesty is arrogant, but she’s fair—she doesn’t (usually) push standards onto others that she can’t meet herself.
So what was she calling me out for just now?
“Leaving food on your plate is unacceptable.”
A pile of chili peppers sat untouched on my meal tray. But—
“Your Majesty, these chilies are just for flavoring the meat. You don’t actually eat them.”
“Proper manners dictate finishing what you’re served.”
“Huh? Sorry, I can’t hear you~?”
Her Majesty’s ears conveniently tune out whatever she doesn’t want to hear.
“Wait, weren’t you the one who taught me Sichuan dining etiquette?!”
“Eat them.”
“No way.”
A petty squabble breaks out.
“Show respect to the person who made your food. Respect.”
She stomps on my foot under the table.
“You could just eat them yourself, you know~!”
I skewer a chili with my chopsticks and hold it up to her mouth.
“I’m full. You eat them and suffer the stomachache.”
“You just said it! ‘Suffer the stomachache’! That’s what you said!”
I press the chili against her pale cheek.
“Wait, are you still mad about this morning?! Because I smeared Pocky all over your face?! This is revenge, isn’t it?! Petty! Petty little Majesty!”
“My pettiness is royal-grade. I wouldn’t get mad over something so trivial.”
Even as she says that, she picks up a chili with her own chopsticks and shoves it toward my mouth.
Just as we’re locked in this absurd chili standoff—
“Eat! By the order of Her Majesty the Queen!”
“Wha—huh?! Ehh?!”
My body freezes, then mechanically turns toward the chili-covered plate.
“That’s cheating! And you’re using it so casually?! Shouldn’t you save that for, like, a finishing move?!”
I protest, but my hands move on their own, shoveling chilies into my mouth like they’re my favorite food.
“Ack—HOT! HOT!! Dammiiiiit!!”
Resistance is futile against Her Majesty’s power. I end up finishing every last pepper.
Slumping over the table, my lips swollen, I groan.
Her Majesty looks utterly unbothered.
But—
“You just did that to dodge my question, didn’t you? Because I asked about what you really are.”
Her Majesty stays silent.
“Ever since I started staying with you… I’ve started seeing things. There are others like you, aren’t there? Other… weird beings?”
My gaze shifts toward the kitchen.
The waitress in the cheongsam smiles at us. Her eyes gleam unnaturally, like a real cat’s. Her grin is downright Cheshire.
“And it’s not like you’re the first time I have seen a person with black eyes”
If you walk through the city paying attention, you notice them. They all radiate this eerie, spine-chilling presence.
Standing on the other side of a crosswalk, there’ll be one person with completely black eyes. And when they catch me looking, they press a finger to their lips.
After working with Her Majesty at British Shop, I started seeing them everywhere. They must’ve always been there—I just hadn’t noticed before.
And Her Majesty… is definitely one of them.
“Would it kill you to tell me? What are you, Your Majesty?”
She side-eyes me, then says:
“I am Her Majesty the Queen.”
“Yeah, yeah, you always say that.”
“I’ve been thinking of expanding my territory. Shinjuku is already mine.”
“Shinjuku got ‘annexed’ just because you hang out there a lot…”
“Next is Yoyogi, Shin-Okubo, or maybe Hōman.”
“So you’re just a Yamanote Line regular?”
“We’ll start from Yoyogi.”
“This woman’s totally eyeing Shibuya next.”
Just as we’re bantering—
“Ah, I knew you’d be here!”
A high school girl walks into the otherwise empty Chinese restaurant.
“Good day, Miss Hana.”
Her Majesty greets her.
“Hello, Eli-san.”
“Not ‘Eli.’ Address me as ‘Your Majesty.’”
The girl who walked in was Hana-chan, a junior at my school.
Amane Hana.
First-year high school student, fifteen years old.
A face still holding traces of childishness, but her personality is dead serious—or rather, inflexible. Still, even the rowdiest guys talk to her. In short, she’s the straight-up cute type.
Hana-chan, shouldn’t you be in school right now? I think—completely ignoring the fact that I should be too—when—
“This isn’t the time to relax! Especially you, Madarame-senpai!”
The moment she steps inside, Hana shoves her phone in my face.
A news alert video plays on the screen.
“The government building explosion, yeah.”
It shows the rubble that was once the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building.
“It’s what comes next! Watch!”
Hana-chan’s shoulder-length hair sways as she speaks. She wears her uniform impeccably and has perfect manners—which is why Her Majesty likes her.
At her urging, I keep watching.
The news anchor wears a grave expression as they speak.
Hana turns up the volume of her phone.
Apparently, the perpetrator behind the explosion has just been identified. A warrant’s been issued.
Perpetrator? That makes it sound like one person. But with something this big, shouldn’t it be a group? An organization? As if answering my thoughts, the anchor explains:
The suspect is a high school student who carried out the attack with support from a foreign terrorist group.
Huh?
“Did they just say… high school student?”
The moment that doubt forms—
The suspect’s name and photo appear on-screen.The anchor reads it aloud.
“Police have issued a nationwide warrant for Madarame Shin’ichi (16) as a suspect in the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building explosion—”
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT gadgetizedpanda.net
Her Majesty gestures for Hana to sit, then orders sesame dumplings and Tieguanyin tea.
The cat-like waitress in the cheongsam brings them over, and dessert time begins.
“I’m actually a wanted criminal now…”
Checking news sites on my phone while nibbling a dumpling, I see my name everywhere. 16-year-old terrorist. The deranged high schooler.
Since I haven’t been to school lately, the narrative’s already set: a shut-in building bombs in his room.
“Madarame-senpai, you’re wanted for ‘incitement of foreign aggression,’”
Hana says.
“They’re saying you conspired with a foreign terrorist group to stage a coup. Oh, and the only penalty for that crime is the death penalty.”
“Scary!!”
“Crimes like treason or overthrowing the state are like that, apparently.”
“I’m kinda terrified of my own scale now…”
“Also, no one’s ever been indicted for ‘incitement of foreign aggression’ before, so you’re Japan’s first!”
“Not something to celebrate!!”
“This is what happens when you skip school! Actually—”
The serious Hana-chan said with a blush on her cheeks, then…
“Senpai, aren’t you getting too cozy with Eli-san?”
Hana glares at me.
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“The way you pour her tea the second her cup’s empty… wiping her mouth when she gets dessert on it… the whole atmosphere is just… mushy.”
“Nah, I just automatically take care of Her Majesty out of habit.”
“And you’re, like, way too close…”
Hana-chan avoids eye contact for some reason as she asks:
“U-um… by any chance… are you two dating!?”
“Huh? W-wait, whaa—?!”
Whoa, Hana-chan just hit us with a wild question out of nowhere!
In response to this, Her Majesty replies with a perfectly calm face:
“We are not dating. I and Madarame are strictly in a sovereign-and-subordinate relationship.”
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