‘How can I make her believe in herself?’
Haruya squeeze his eyes shut and make his brain work at full capacity.
[You’ll have to confront her with your true feelings. Unless you confront her with your own words, without borrowing someone else’s words, with your true self, it won’t resonate with her.]
Suddenly, those words from our homeroom teacher flashed through my mind.
… True feelings. My own words. My own feelings.
Come to think of it, I first met Rin when I was still dragging along the tragedy that happened in middle school.
I met Kohinata-san a little after meeting Nayu-san, but I think we became friends because I sensed something similar to myself in her.
She always provided me with cheerful topics, always smiled, and I’ve often been saved by her dazzling presence.
[Mister. You always come to this shop, don’t you? Thank you.]
[… Well, yeah.]
[I think we’re close in age, so if you have any troubles, feel free to talk to me, okay?]
Even knowing that smile was fake didn’t disillusion me.
Even if she approached me at the coffee shop for her own self-preservation, I can’t bring myself to blame her.
Because I’ve actually been saved by that smile.
Besides, there’s no rule that says something artificial can’t surpass the real thing.
Accumulation is everything. Even if you’re pretending to be someone you’re not, even if you’re full of hypocrisy, if you can make those around you smile, that should be considered real.
Above all, Rin is doing something I couldn’t do.
At least for Haruya, he couldn’t take the path of working hard within the community like Rin is doing now.
All he could do was look away from the painful reality and escape to an easier path.
That’s who Akasaki Haruya is now in high school.
Within the community, he fears connections with people, blocking out their faces and voices with noise.
Despite having a past of experiencing severe bullying similar to his own, she is walking a different, admirable path.
That’s why, for Haruya, it was unforgivable for Rin to try to abandon being Kohinata Rin for such a negative reason.
“…I know I’m not in a position to say anything to Kohinata-san. But I don’t want you to avoid performing at the live show for such a negative reason! I don’t want you to say you’ll stop being yourself after the Eika Festival ends!”
Before he knew it, Haruya was speaking with a strained voice.
Rin stops her hand from opening the door and quietly turns back.
“…Are you concerned about Sayucchi and the other live members?”
“No! It’s just that I… I… want to see Kohinata-san giving it her all at the live show!”
She probably wasn’t expecting such a passionate response.
Rin’s eyes widened, and she froze for a moment.
“…I said I would give it my all—”
“If you’re going to give it your all, you should be able to declare that you’ll make it the best live show!”
Haruya interrupted, adding to his words.
Rin laughs through her nose, as if mocking herself.
“Well, let me ask you this. For me, the best is those two. After seeing today’s play, do you think my live show can be more successful than those two?”
“I do.”
He nods immediately.
“Why?”
“When I heard about Kohinata-san’s way of being… I thought it was cool. Sure, Kohinata-san might be pretending more than necessary. But even while saying it’s for yourself, to protect yourself, striving towards an ideal and trying to be kind to people is something beautiful.”
Otherwise, she wouldn’t always listen to his concerns at the café or always act cheerfully.
Surely many people have smiled because of her.
“It’s not like I’m particularly kind…”
“Even going around the Eika Festival today, wasn’t it because you felt responsible for making me a committee member and wanted to make it enjoyable for me?”
“…!”
Whether it was spot on or she never thought he’d notice, Rin’s eyes widened greatly.
“I’m surprised… You understand that much.”
She lowers her eyes once, then nods and continues.
“Yes… it’s because I caused you trouble. I convinced myself that if you could have a date with me, it would make up for it. Don’t you think that’s excessively self-conscious?”
Yes. But that should be who “Kohinata Rin” is.
It matches her image at the café.
The ideal she aimed for to avoid being bullied.
That version of her should be able to declare that she can make it the best live show.
She’s just wavering in her way of being due to the double punch of meeting her bullies again and facing the high level of her friend’s play.
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT gadgetizedpanda.net
“Even though I’m not making anyone smile with my self-centered thoughts…”
“You are.”
“On what basis can you say that?”
At that moment, Haruya approached Rin and showed her part of a photo he had taken with his camera.
“This is the decoration Kohinata-san made.”
“What about it?”
“Look, all these people are smiling.”
The photo shows several guests smiling while looking at Rin’s decorations.
“…That’s just because they’re caught up in the festival atmosphere…”
“Maybe so.”
Haruya continues in a gentle tone.
“But everyone is smiling. I think the Eika Festival is successful like this thanks to Kohinata-san working hard as a committee member. Of course, it’s because of the efforts of all members, including me doing odd jobs. But Kohinata-san is part of that too.”
Rin looks at him silently.
Haruya’s eyes softened as he spoke his true feelings.
“That’s why I think Kohinata-san is cool. Even if you’re trying to make yourself look good, not many people can work hard at things they’re not good at. You’ve had high ideals and kept working towards them, right? If that’s the case, then show those two bullies at the live show, just like Himekawa-san and Takamori-san showed you despair. Whether you perform or not is up to you in this case. I don’t think anyone has the right to complain. But if you’ve decided to perform and are planning to work hard… don’t try to stand on stage with such a negative attitude. This might be my selfish wish and I might be imposing. Still, I want to tell Kohinata-san. If you say you’re going to perform, I… I want to see Kohinata-san working hard towards tomorrow. No one else. I want to see Kohinata-san’s live show!”
He unintentionally became passionate midway through his words.
He was breathing heavily, his shoulders heaving.
Perhaps moved by Haruya’s enthusiasm, Rin relaxed her shoulders and muttered.
“I didn’t know there was someone who had such high expectations for me…”
After saying this thoughtfully, a sound of her slapping her own cheek echoed.
Rin had slapped her own cheek.
“…Akasaki-kun. You were my big fan, huh? Then working hard to make it the best live show is what you call fan service, right?”
With that, Rin put her hand on the door.
As she was leaving, a short voice saying [Thank you…] could be heard.
It sounded like she meant it from the bottom of her heart, which made him feel somewhat embarrassed, but he was sure that she would now be able to perform without any issues.
For some reason, Haruya had that certainty within him.
Some time after Rin left, when Haruya exited the classroom, he saw two figures in the distance that looked like students.
They were coming this way, chatting happily while holding pamphlets.
Could they be committee members?
If so, that was a close call.
For Haruya, having someone see him passionately talking to Rin would be mortifying enough to make him want to die.
Since this area was restricted to visitors, that’s what Haruya thought, but…
“The committee room seems to be ahead. So this is where Rin was working hard.”
“We were so busy with play rehearsals, we couldn’t come here often.”
It was Sara and Yuuna, the duo who had come to visit this place on the day of the Eika Festival, perhaps wanting to take a final look.
Faced with these unexpected visitors, Haruya couldn’t help but smile wryly.
Being found by them here would be troublesome in many ways.
(Being found by the combination of Himekawa-san and Nayu-san is no joke…)
Haruya thought about hiding in the conference room, trying to suppress his presence as he reached for the door.
At that moment.
“Akasaki-kun~ Found you!”
A student came running up the stairs and dashed into this classroom.
“Ugh.”
Attracted by that voice, Sara and Yuuna looked this way.
(…Huh, Akasaki-san!?)
(…Akasaki-kun was here.)
While receiving such meaningful gazes from Sara and Yuuna, a female student approached Haruya’s side, oblivious to his feelings.
Then, she put her hands on Haruya’s shoulders.
“…Thank you. Akasaki-kun.”
Also check out my friend Localizermeerkat for more LN translations!
BUY THE SOURCE MATERIAL TO SUPPORT THE AUTHOR !!!
Kindly click on the green button above and contribute to filling the green bar if you’re interested in having another LN from the request page translated. Also, every donation is being used to purchase the source material and to fund more English translations.
Please consider joining my Ko-Fi membership. By becoming a member, you’ll also gain access to 2-10 additional chapters of all of the novels from this site translated into English. Last but not least your support will also assist me in upholding the translation quality and speed. For more information, please follow the link.
Donation for faster release is always welcome
Additionally, I am now accepting translation requests.
