“I’m heading to the batting cages. I feel like smashing some home runs.”
With that, Her Majesty went out alone again. After a while, I followed.
I checked the game center’s batting cages, but of course, she wasn’t there.
I searched the streets until I found her—fighting four people in white coats. Members of the angel squads.
In the middle of a deserted highway, late at night, she was battling men armed with swords and guns. Under the moonlight, Her Majesty gracefully dodged the gleaming arcs of their blades.
A traffic light, endlessly blinking red.
The Corps members moved sluggishly, while Her Majesty barely broke a sweat.
Three gunshots—three men fell.
The fourth had climbed onto an overpass, leaping down in a desperate ambush. A sacrificial strategy—three drawing attention, the last delivering a fatal strike from the blind spot.
But Her Majesty wasn’t fooled.
Firing three more shots upward, she tilted her open umbrella slightly to the side.
The officer didn’t even try to break his fall—just hit the ground with a dull thud.
The blood, midair when shot, splattered against the umbrella with a crisp sound.
Her Majesty closed it, shook off the blood, and walked away as if nothing had happened.
Once she was gone, I approached the bodies on the asphalt. They were perfectly, unquestionably dead.
That was undeniably Her Majesty. No shapeshifting demon could mimic that. Only she would bother using an umbrella to block the blood.
“Unnecessarily elegant and overdramatic as always…”
I crouched, peering at their lifeless faces.
These people—
“Please tell me they were actually super evil or something!”
As usual, Her Majesty was having breakfast in British shop’s living room. Bored with just eating, she turned on the TV. Finding nothing to her taste, she selected a movie on demand—right as she hit play:
“You can’t watch that!”
I snatched the remote from her hand.
“Mafia movies are bad for your education! Honestly, why do they even make films where people just shoot each other?”
“Hey, what’s gotten into you? You sound like my mom.”
Still wearing the apron from making breakfast, I ignored her bewildered look and grabbed the remote again as she tried to pick an action film.
“No violence!”
I snatched the remote back again.
“Your Majesty! You should watch a human drama—one that celebrates the beauty of living!”
I hit play. It was a touching summer film about a rebellious boy becoming friends with a sickly child.
“Watch this! Your Majesty will feel the joy of life, the wonder of existence! ‘My Friend Forever’!”
I forced Her Majesty to sit through it. Even during the final scene—the kind where no one can hold back tears—she just sat there with a blank “hmph” on her face.
Maybe the Cold-Blooded Her Majesty really was heartless after all.
Just as I thought that, Her Majesty booted up a game. An online team shooter where you splatter each other with ink.
I smacked the controller out of her hand.
“This! This is why you’re always so trigger-happy!”
I took over, swapping the game to something else.
“Your Majesty! Instead of fighting—you should play something peaceful! Like showing off your island with friends!”
“What the—? Today’s version of you is annoying!”
Her Majesty stood up.
“I’m going to find Kuromari-chan.”
“Your Majesty! Let’s do something different today!”
I grabbed her shoulder, stopping her from leaving to search for the Holy Grail.
“Then what do you suggest?”
“We’re going to a pet shop.”
“Why?”
“For Your Majesty’s emotional development, obviously!”
Ignoring her grimace, I dragged her to the pet shop and pointed at a Bernese Mountain Dog puppy.
“We’ll take this one.”
I paid with a credit card.
“Hey, that’s my card.”
“Your Majesty, you will raise it properly.”
I shoved the puppy into her arms.
“This little one’s name is Life is Beautiful.”
“…………”
Her Majesty named it Johann III and took it back to British shop. She seemed to grow fond of Johann, carrying and petting it often.
Surely, by the time Johann was grown, Her Majesty would understand the value of life.
From then on, I pushed forward with Operation: Soften Her Majesty’s Heart.
Every day, I played calming fusion music and avoided spicy, stimulating foods.
I added mindfulness meditation to our routine, and whenever Her Majesty craved sweets, I tossed her GABA chocolate—renowned for stress relief.
Of course, mafia movies and FPS games were banned.
After about a week of this—
“I’m bored!”
Her Majesty snapped.
“I want spicy Chinese food! I’m sick of bland dishes!”
She grabbed her shoes.
“No! Capsaicin is stimulating!”
“Johann needs a walk.”
She tossed me the dog leash.
“Hey—!”
Her Majesty ignored my restraint and went outside, so I had no choice but to bring Johann along and chase after her. This has become troublesome, I think.
Because today, angel squads are deployed throughout the city.
Their purpose isn’t to secure the Holy Grail.
It’s to hunt down the immortal who killed members of the angel squad.
In other words, they’re trying to hunt Her Majesty.
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT gadgetizedpanda.net
For the past few days, I’ve been working hard like an education-obsessed mother to teach Her Majesty to be an immortal full of humanity, but it was difficult as expected.
Her Majesty is as free as a cat, so she goes out when I’m not looking, and sometimes when she returns, there’s blood on her white shirt.
Of course, it could be Her Majesty’s own blood.
Her Majesty, as an immortal who has lived for a long time, has the characteristic of dying casually as a sort of gag. Having no fear of death, she sometimes stands at the edge of sidewalks where trucks zoom by and gets her face hit by them, or easily falls onto the tracks when bumped by someone on a station platform. Then she laments that her shirt is stained with her own blood, or complains that Japan has too many people.
But this time, the blood is surely splatter from someone else.
Because on days when Her Majesty stains her clothes, members of the angel squad end up dead or injured.
And today, finally, the judgment came down that Her Majesty is the culprit, and it was decided that she would be hunted down.
The reason I know this is because Captain Shirakawa told me.
“I want you to bring her to the square in front of the Yomisaka Town Museum, the symbol of the city.”
Yesterday, when I was shopping at the supermarket, Captain Shirakawa approached me.
“I might snitch about this to Her Majesty.”
“You won’t do that. I know you won’t.”
I silently showed Captain Shirakawa my smartphone.
“Look. This is Her Majesty holding a puppy while watching a human movie.”
“She’s rolling her eyes from boredom.”
“Make the right choice,” Captain Shirakawa said as she left.
And today—
Her Majesty was walking toward the Yomisaka Town Museum in search of Szechuan cuisine, coincidentally. I follow behind Her Majesty with the doggy. Johann the Third, the doggy, taking after who knows who, had a silly face with his tongue out going “heh, heh, heh.”
At this rate, Her Majesty will be hunted down by the angel squad.
While I was wondering what to do, Her Majesty said she wanted a hat and entered Rabbi’s Tailor shop. I wait outside with Johann.
The choice is postponed, just a little.
“You know, I’m not too smart, but it seems like the curriculum guidelines and moral education are firmly installed in my head,”
I say while pulling Johann’s cheeks.
“Do you think Her Majesty is a bad person?”
Johann barks once.
“But we humans mercilessly take down demons too, right? So isn’t it the same?”
Johann barks once again.
“I’m starting to think it’s not about whether someone is good or bad.”
Woof.
“In the end, it’s about what I decide to do, right~?”
Woof.
“You really can only say ‘woof,’ huh? Try harder~!”
“WONDERFUL!”
“You spoke! Amazing~!”
While I was doing this, Her Majesty came out of the tailor shop. Seeing that she wasn’t wearing a hat, it seems she didn’t find anything she liked.
Her Majesty silently starts walking again.
As we approach Yomisaka Town Square, the number of people gradually decreases. Even so, Her Majesty doesn’t seem to care at all.
I think to myself.
Her Majesty is an immortal, not human. It hasn’t even been a year since we met, and Her Majesty barely talks about herself to me.
Come to think of it, my relationship with Her Majesty is brief, with no blood ties or childhood friendship or anything like that. It’s like we’re just taking shelter from the rain under the same eaves.
Surely, Her Majesty wouldn’t cry if I disappeared.
I probably wouldn’t cry either if Her Majesty disappeared.
Rather, it would be strange to get all emotional here.
I shouldn’t protect an immortal who shoots humans left and right.
So—
“Your Majesty,”
I say.
“Let’s skip Szechuan cuisine for today. I want to eat Italian. If you want spice, you can slurp up some Peperoncino.”
Her Majesty turned around and our eyes met. Her Majesty frowned slightly with a displeased face, but then said, “Fine,” and started walking in the opposite direction of Yomisaka Town Square.
Yes, I had no particular thoughts; I just wanted to devour a cheese-loaded pizza, spike my blood sugar, and pass out.
But as we were heading toward the Italian restaurant, passing by the station—
“I knew you would do that,”
Captain Shirakawa’s voice came from a distance.
Looking back, Captain Shirakawa was standing on top of the brick clock tower next to the Yomisaka Town station building.
She was holding a spear. A spear longer than Captain Shirakawa’s height. That spear felt strange. In the first place, Captain Shirakawa’s weapon was a sword, so it was odd that she was holding a spear, and furthermore, the spear had a presence that was larger than Captain Shirakawa, standing out from its surroundings.
Captain Shirakawa raised that spear and threw it.
The air trembled.
The next moment, the spear had pierced through Her Majesty, who was still facing away, and was stuck in the ground. A crater formed in the ground belatedly, and I was blown backward along with Johann.
When I looked up, Her Majesty, pierced by the spear, was hanging her head limply. She was kneeling on the ground up to her knees. It was the first time I had seen Her Majesty like this.
The spear that pierced Her Majesty was very long and covered in rust. Looking at that spear made me feel somehow ominous and anxious.
“I borrowed it from the Vatican,” Captain Shirakawa said.
Captain Shirakawa jumped down from the pointed tower, landed softly on the ground, and walked toward us.
“This is the spear that pierced that noble one on the hill of Golgotha. Even you cannot move an inch before this spear.”
Captain Shirakawa came next to Her Majesty, who was hanging her head weakly, and brought her face close.
“In your long life, you must have met that person too.”
And then, Captain Shirakawa stated Her Majesty’s true identity.
“The fallen angel Lucifer.”
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