“I can’t sleep without a body pillow.”
Of course—I became the body pillow.
In the dark room, in the center of the wide bed, Captain Shirakawa had her arms wrapped around my head. Like Her Majesty, she was the type who slept in just her underwear.
So there I was—being held like a body pillow by a half-naked Captain Shirakawa.
My face was exactly at chest level. And of course, the size matched her title—Captain-class. Since I was a pillow, she even had her legs wrapped around me.
I was extremely nervous, but Captain Shirakawa was relaxed from the alcohol, drifting off to sleep. So I did my best to fulfill my duty as a proper body pillow. But—I had just one request.
“Captain Shirakawa.”
“Yeah?”
“Can I hold you too?”
“Sure.”
Captain Shirakawa’s touch felt unmistakably girly. Exactly the kind of ideal softness I’d always imagined—this is how a girl should feel. Somehow tender, with smooth skin and a sweet scent, far more delicate and luxurious than you’d expect from her strong image. She didn’t need it at all, but it made me want to protect her.
Either way, I was seriously happy.
I closed my eyes, ready to sleep, when—after a while—
Captain Shirakawa spoke in a drowsy voice:
“The Holy Grail will be moved to Kyoto soon.”
I’d heard the rumors—that it’d be sealed deep underground beneath the Kyoto Imperial Palace, where no one could reach it.
“Everyone will be happy. Japan will become a thousand-year kingdom.”
“So oil will gush out, and we won’t have to work anymore?”
“Once it’s all over…”
Captain Shirakawa hugged my head and whispered:
“Let’s go on a proper date, okay?”
Feeling the softness of her chest, I replied:
“Yeah. Let’s go on a date.”
A few weeks after staying at Captain Shirakawa’s apartment—
“So this is where you’ve been.”
Hana-chan sat next to me in the empty theater.
“You skipped school again. I was worried, you know?”
“I just felt like watching a movie…”
It was an old single-screen cinema in Yomisaka Town. I slumped into the seat, barely present.
“I asked the staff. You’ve been coming here every day for a week, from morning till night. How do you not get bored? It’s the same movie.”
“It’s calming,”
I said.
“Sure, multiplexes are great—snacks on your lap, big screens—but this place just feels right.”
Only Hana-chan and I were there. The black-and-white film flickered silently.
“Did you join the Angels’ squads?”
“Nope.”
“Eh~?”
“Trainees like me are on standby.”
Lately, the Onmyo Dormitory had been on high alert. The Holy Grail’s transfer was underway.
Once sealed in Kyoto’s underground vault, no one—no one—could touch it again. Not even those who stored it. No unlock mechanism existed. It was basically a high-security vault.
That meant this transfer was the last chance for anyone who wanted the Grail.
Rumors said unidentified warships lurked in international waters near Tokyo Bay.
Nine times out of ten, a final attack was coming.
Given the intensity, trainees like me were sidelined.
The Grail was being transported today via Shinkansen from Tokyo to Kyoto. Every passenger was an Onmyo Dormitory agent. Decoy trucks and cars were en route to Kyoto too, while agents carrying suspiciously important briefcases flew out from Haneda and Narita to Kansai Airport.
Once the mission ended, life would return to normal.
“It’s not like this is a depressing situation, right?”
Hana-chan said.
“So why do you look so lost?”
“Her Majesty’s being handed over to the Vatican today too.”
“…Oh.”
I wasn’t told where he was or where the handoff would happen. Probably because I was under her influence—they had to draw a line.
“Hey, Hana-chan.”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve got a pretty good reputation at school now.”
“So I’ve heard.”
“Teachers praise my manners. My English improved, so people think I’m smart.”
I keep promises, show up on time, and handle chores no one else wants. Noblesse oblige.
I hold doors for girls, carry heavy things. The other day, a classmate even confessed to me.
“Apparently~! Even first-year girls talk about you. A little bit!”
Hana-chan giggled.
“Everything I do is just… performative. But it works. School’s fun now. I feel like I can handle people—society.”
But—
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT gadgetizedpanda.net
“All of it’s thanks to Her Majesty.”
I turned to her.
“Do you think she’s a bad person?”
“I… only know Eli san’s silly side. But if it’s true he took advantage of Madarame-senpai’s loyalty… that’s unforgivable.”
Lucifer, the Fallen Angel, was once the most beautiful being, revered by all living things. That reverence was her power—until God stripped it away. Forgotten by the world, she lost everything.
So she used me. She manipulated the shopping district folks to regain power.
That was the Investigation Division’s conclusion. But—
“I don’t think so.”
I kept my eyes on the screen.
“That rumor about Her Majesty being an actress? It’s true.”
“Huh?”
“Look.”
The film reached its climax.
The hero, having won the heroine’s heart and served his country, received a medal from the Queen.
As the hero entered the palace,
the camera zoomed in—
“Eh~?!”
Hana-chan gasped.
The Queen was undeniably Her Majesty.
No lines. Just bestowing the medal. But on-screen, she outshone everyone. The heroine? Irrelevant. Of course—she was the most beautiful being in existence.
“The first time Her Majesty spoke to me was right outside this theater. This was the movie playing.”
“Madarame-senpai, you…”
“I loved this scene. I watched it over and over. Alone, in this empty theater.”
So—
“I think… she was happy.”
Forgotten by the world.
Yet I kept watching her film.
Her approaching me wasn’t random. Me following her wasn’t just whatever.
“I think I understand why she ran the British Shop.”
“Eli san’s feelings?”
“Lately… I’ve been so happy.”
Money wasn’t tight. I did what I loved.
Got to be intimate with a beautiful woman.
No more job-hunting anxiety.
Better posture, better manners—suddenly popular at school.
Praised for my English, called smart.
“Hearing those words felt good. Especially ‘smart.’ School’s where you’re supposed to get smarter. So when people say it… it’s addictive. I want more. I act accordingly. Start judging everything by it.”
Probably the same with cool or cute.
“But… it’s not that.”
“Then what?”
“It’s all me. ‘I’m smart.’ ‘I’m cool.’ ‘I’m amazing.’ Me, me, me. The subject’s always me.”
“Then what would make you happy?”
“‘Thank you.’”
The moments I truly felt joy—
“The best times were running the British Shop. Better than being called smart or watching movies with snacks. Even playing pickup baseball, striking out three times—but hearing ‘Thanks for coming!’—that’s the best.”
Her Majesty was lonely.
She didn’t run the shop to regain power.
“She just wanted to hear ‘thank you.’”
I looked at Hana-chan.
“Did you know? She only sits at round tables.”
Her favorite table at the shop. Her love for Chinese restaurants—because their tables were round.
“Like… the Round Table?”
“A round table means sitting side by side. She only believes in absolute monarchy—but that’s who she is.”
I stood up.
“Wait… senpai, you’re not—”
“I submitted my resignation to the Onmyo Dormitory this morning.”
“Eh~?!”
“I’m taking over the British Shop.”
“But… you’ll clash with the Angels!”
“Probably.”
I’d do what Her Majesty intended.
That meant opposing the Onmyo Dormitory.
I was just a human now. They were insanely strong.
But—
“It’s fine. I remembered something.”
“What?” Hana-chan asked.
“Her Majesty once told me the six things people need to live.”
“You mentioned that before.”
On our date, I’d brought it up.
“Back then, I couldn’t recall the last one. But now I remember.”
I listed them:
What people need to live—
Courtesy.
Compassion.
Responsibility.
Respect.
Discipline.
And—
“The last one?” Hana-chan pressed.
I flashed a peace sign.
It was…
“Courage.”
After leaving the theater, I went to Yomisaka’s oldest barbershop. Got a haircut, a hot towel shave. Next, Rabbi the Tailor.
“Eli left something for you,”
Rabbi said, unveiling a British-style suit.
“‘For when the time comes,’ she said.”
I slip my arms into my shirt sleeves and fasten the cuffs. I pull on my pants and tighten my belt. I put on my jacket, tie my tie, and secure it with a tie pin.
I look at my reflection in the mirror and say:
“How do I look, Your Majesty?”
Right now, I look like one hell of a gentleman.
But there’s no “Your Majesty” here to answer me.
And that almost brings tears to my eyes.
“You’re such a clingy loner,”
Rabbi says.
“You really are like Eli.”
Then, the ever-silent Friday holds out an umbrella to me.
I tilt my head. There’s no sign of rain today.
But Rabbi just says:
“You should take it. You’ll need an umbrella to shield yourself from the rain of bullets, won’t you?”
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