The days since getting dragged into this mess have been a mix of pop, catchy, and grotesque.
The pop & catchy part is Her Majesty casually taking odd jobs at British shop. The grotesque? Demon attacks.
Like when we dressed as Santa and a reindeer for a kindergarten Christmas party—only for demons to attack. Behind the kids’ backs, Reindeer Majesty and Santa-me teamed up to stab a cross through a demon’s heart.
Or when we worked as haunted house actors at an amusement park, playing zombies until real demons showed up. We blew their brains out with a gun, then played it off as part of the show for the guests.
Then there was the time we were hired as audience fillers for an idol concert. Mid-cheerleading with glow sticks, we realized the idols were all demons—so we dropped stage lights on them, squashing the whole group flat.
Days like these passed until today, when Her Majesty sensed a powerful demon’s presence.
“They’re finally here, huh?”
I mutter.
It happened after a manners class at a family restaurant. Back at British shop, sipping tea at her favorite round table,
“After tea, we search for Kuromari-chan!”
Her Majesty swung her cane like a child and declared
Thanks to the Grail’s power, Kuromari-chan—a stuffed toy—came to life.
The last sighting was her boarding an elevator in a commercial building.
But Kuromari-chan’s legs are super short, so she can’t move fast.
We’ve been idly wandering town looking for her whenever we have time.
But—
“Your Majesty, maybe we should just… drop this?”
I suggest.
“I do want to give Kuromari-chan back to Hana-chan, but this whole ‘British shop’ vibe is kinda fading, y’know?”
The Grail war’s escalating. We’re brutally offing demons, and people are casually dying left and right.
Abe the shapeshifter’s locked in the tailor’s basement. If we expose his scheme and prove we don’t have Kuromari-chan, we could bail.
“True,”
Her Majesty says.
“That is an option.”
“Huh? That was… surprisingly easy. Didn’t expect that.”
“I’m the type of ruler who understands things don’t always go as planned.”
But if we withdraw, she sets one condition:
“Go on a date with Hana.”
“A date? Really? You always hit me with these random demands.”
“Compensation is due.”
Apparently, Her Majesty had plans for a girls’ Christmas outing with Hana.
“Surprise her by showing up instead of me!”
“Uh, Hana-chan would hate that. If she wanted a girls’ day with you, and I—”
Her Majesty narrows her eyes at me.
“You imbecile. Do you really think serious, law-abiding Hana would hire shady freelancers like us for no reason?”
“You just called yourself shady.”
“Make Hana happy.”
She clearly won’t explain further.
Once she’s like this, no amount of arguing helps. So I sigh:
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“K-kyeaaah?!”
Hana-chan squeaks.
It’s Christmas afternoon at the harbor-side station. She’s shocked because I showed up instead of Her Majesty.
“Her Majesty caught a cold.”
“But Eli-san’s immortal?!”
We start walking toward the harbor.
Flustered, Hana whimpers (“Kyun… kyun…”), fusses with her bangs, tugs her collar, and groans, “If you’d told me, I’d have dressed nicer! Eli san, you idiot!”
“Hana-chan.”
“…Eli-san sees right through me… Kyun…”
“Hey, Hana-chan.”
I cut off her flailing.
“Do you, uh, hang out with Her Majesty often?”
“Ah, yes! We do.”
Turns out, Her Majesty invites her for seasonal parfaits and shopping trips.
“So you’re basically friends.”
“Today, Eli-san mentioned wanting to see warships, so—”
That’s why Hana picked this port city for their girls’ day.
Come to think of it, during one of our lazy chats at British shop, this happened:
[Kinda wanna build a navy now.]
[You don’t even own land beyond a rented 3LDK, and you’re dreaming of maritime dominance?]
I thought she was joking, but if she’s dragging Hana to a naval port, maybe she was serious. Planning to seize the U.S. military? Typical tomboy antics.
Since we’re near a U.S. base, we grab burgers at an authentic joint.
At our table, Hana giggles.
“Madarame-senpai, you’re really acting the part.”
“Huh?”
“You held the door for me, gave me the better seat…”
“Her Majesty drilled this into me.”
We order burgers.
“Her Majesty says there are six things vital for living right.”
“What six?”
I count them off:
“Compassion.
Responsibility.
Respect.
Discipline.—”
Then I pause.
“What was the last one?”
“Ehhh?!”
“She nags me about it, but I forgot.”
As we chat, the server brings a massive burger.
“Does Eli-san eat burgers with a knife and fork?”
“Nah, she smashes it flat between the buns first.”
Yep. Her Majesty crushes her burgers.
“She claims it’s the ‘authentic’ way. Brags about living in New York once.”
Once, while watching baseball, she randomly interjected, “I knew Babe Ruth.”
“She does that!”
Hana laughs.
“When I admired a makeup ad, she said, ‘I’ve modeled before.’ Or if I mention a celebrity, she’ll snap, ‘I’ve acted too!’”
“Total show-off.”
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT gadgetizedpanda.net
After burgers, we admire docked warships—still talking about Her Majesty. I realize: This is bad.
Here I am with Hana-chan, yet all we discuss is Her Majesty.
We barely know each other outside jobs, we are not that close yet.
so defaulting to shared topics makes sense.
But it still feels rude.
I should be focusing on her. Remembering it’s Christmas, I think: Should’ve brought a gift.
But it’s not too late. As we walk, I ask:
“Hana-chan, is there anything you want?”
“Huh?”
“Y’know, since it’s Christmas.”
“Ehhh?!”
She flusters (“No, I couldn’t!”), but when I insist, she blushes and mumbles:
“Then… maybe something to remember… today… by…”
“A memento, huh?”
This city’s known for its burgers and—
My eyes land on a shop window.
“A souvenir sukajan jacket?”
Not exactly Hana’s usual refined style—but—
“I-I want one!”
she blurts.
“Senpai dresses casually… If I wear one too, we’ll… match… sort of…”
So, we entered the store. The clerk brought out a cute pink-and-white sukajan jacket, and Hana-chan seemed to really like it.
She stuffed the coat she’d been wearing into a bag and immediately slipped on the sukajan.
From head to toe, she was dressed formally—except for the jacket, which was super casual. The mismatch worked perfectly, making her look like a model.
“Alright, let’s go.”
After that, we rode the Ferris wheel to enjoy the view, then had dinner at a slightly upscale restaurant—the kind that feels like a stretch for high schoolers.
Hana-chan gradually grew quieter. She kept her eyes down, cheeks flushed, occasionally glancing at me like she wanted to say something. By the time we had to head back and boarded the train home, she’d fallen completely silent.
Standing side by side in the train, I tried to think of something to talk about.
But then Hana-chan, her face bright red, spoke first.
“Um… Madarame-senpai, do you know…?”
“Know what?”
“Madarame-senpai and I… went to the same elementary school…”
“Oh, really?”
When I asked for the school’s name, it matched.
“What a coincidence.”
“Y-yeah. And… do you remember that girl who really loved Kuromari-chan?”
“Oh, her! Yeah, she left an impression. She was cute, right?”
“C-cute!?”
Hana-chan flapped her hands in front of her face, fanning herself.
“A-and… that girl got teased a lot by the boys, didn’t she!?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“But there was this older boy who protected her! He got her Kuromari-chan back after the boys took it…”
“Huh~ That happened~?”
“And if that girl ended up liking him… that’s normal, right!? Even if she kept liking him from elementary school all the way to high school, thinking about him every night… that doesn’t make her some kind of creepy girl, right!?”
Just as Hana-chan said that—
The train stopped, and a crowd of people boarded.
I pulled Hana-chan closer to avoid the rush. But then—
She moved even closer on her own, gripping the hem of my clothes with both hands, practically hugging me.
“H-Hana-chan!?”
“Senpai… do you… want to do that kind of thing with a girl…?”
Pressing against me, she whispered in a tiny voice.
“Huh!?”
“I mean… you told Eli-san you’d want k-kiss as reward at the family restaurant…”
“Oh, the kiss thing. Yeah, well… I’ve never done that before, so I kinda wanted to try…”
“I… I don’t think that’s good. Kissing should be with someone you really like… It’s something special… Using it as a reward is…”
“Yeah, you’re right—”
“B-but!”
Hana-chan turned away, flustered.
“If it’s someone you went on a date with… or gave a present to… then… i-it’s okay, right!? A k-kiss!
“Wait, so you mean—”
I thought for a second. Someone I went on a date with and gave presents to—
That’s Hana-chan!
“W-whaaa!?”
As I gasped, Hana-chan turned even redder.
“I-I have a curfew today, so I have to go home… but if it weren’t for that… what you tried to ask Eli-san before the kiss… um… that kind of thing… I… might not… mind… either…”
She pressed herself against me, as if unconsciously.
So today, she has to go home—but next time, it’d be okay!?
This is huge.
Wait, what should I do? Should I just go for it? Or is dodging it the gentlemanly move? But Hana-chan’s mustering up the courage to cling to me despite her embarrassment, so wouldn’t meeting her feelings head-on be the real gentlemanly thing?
Your Majesty, help me!! Which one’s the gentlemanly choice here!?
Just as I was thinking that—
“Yo, Madarame.”
A guy around our age called out.
He glanced between me and Hana-chan, then smirked.
“Madarame, you’re really trash, huh?”
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