“Your Majesty~, way too cool~!”
Just as I quipped, the rugged Bureau Director roared and forced himself upright. True to his rank, he could resist Her Majesty’s commands—if only slightly.
And in that brief window, he swung his blade—just as I had done to Vice-Captain Yanagishita—knocking the crown from Her Majesty’s head.
“Oh dear.”
What’s that, Your Majesty?
Her Majesty barely reacted before the captains sprang into action.
“Secure the Holy Grail!” The Bureau Director barked.
As he lunged for it, Her Majesty hooked his ankle with a cane.
A vein bulged on the Bureau Director’s forehead.
This was the final phase—whoever seized the Holy Grail would control the battlefield.
Her Majesty glanced at me. I nodded. Then—
“Madarame, fulfill your duty.”
Her Majesty’s voice dripped with regal authority.
“In the name of Her Majesty,.”
With that, Her Majesty engaged the captains, cane flashing. Amid the chaos, one captain dove for the Grail as it slid along a conveyor belt—only for Her Majesty to yank a lever, sending the belt into motion and leaving the captain grasping at air.
Meanwhile, I moved toward a workbench and grabbed an industrial-sized stapler. Then, I hiked up my shirt, revealing the gaping wound Vice-Captain Yanagishita had given me.
“Wait, hold on—OWWWW!!!”
I stapled the massive wound shut.
“Let me look cool too~!”
While I was busy whining, one of the captains snatched the Grail from the conveyor belt. I dashed over, smacked his hand with my umbrella, and sent it clattering to the ground. Figured the quickest way to end this was to crown Her Majesty again. So I hooked the crown with my umbrella’s tip and lobbed it toward her head—
Only for another captain to intercept it midair. Her Majesty promptly smacked it loose with her cane.
The Grail tumbled away.
I moved to grab it, but the Bureau Director blocked my path. The guy was ridiculously strong—a single swing sent me flying, even as I blocked with my umbrella.
Inside the factory, multiple conveyor belts carried scrap metal toward a blazing furnace. My body landed squarely on one, speeding toward molten oblivion. At the last second, I barely managed to roll free.
The Grail changed hands—snatched, knocked loose, bouncing wildly as we fought over it.
We were outnumbered, but Her Majesty? Unbelievably strong.
Cool as ever, she kept beating back the captains with just her cane.
“How are you this strong~?”
“Seems there’s someone out there who likes me a little too much.”
Her Majesty drew power from others’ emotions—respect, blessings, loyalty. I remembered bawling alone in a theater, missing her like crazy.
“What’s with that red face?”
Her Majesty teased.
“You’ve got your cute moments too.”
Back-to-back, we fought them off—her cane, my umbrella.
By the climax, only four remained: me, Her Majesty, the Bureau Director, and Vice-Captain Yanagishita.
The Grail rolled along a conveyor belt, inching toward the furnace.
Yanagishita sprinted for it.
I cut him off, umbrella raised, standing between him and the Grail.
“You’d let the Grail be destroyed?”
he hissed.
“If you think the Grail—or anything else—is the key to truth, you’ll never find it.”
“Move.”
Yanagishita charged, blade-first. I parried with my umbrella.
“You’re no match for me,”
Yanagishita says.
“It was that woman who took down the captains. You just guarded her back.”
Her Majesty was busy holding off the Bureau Director.
“One-on-one, I’m far stronger. And that ‘umbrella’ of yours? Pathetic. My sword was wielded by a Crusader who defended Jerusalem.”
Yanagishita’s killing intent flared.
“If you won’t step aside, I’ll kill you.”
But—
“Don’t worry.”
Her Majesty’s voice carried over the clash.
“Madarame, you grow stronger through belief. Imagine yourself greater. Not Hong Kong cinema—think elegance.”
“That’s just your taste~!”
“The umbrella isn’t an issue. As a relic, it outranks a Crusader’s sword.”
“Seriously?”
“With courage, you can draw and wield its true power.”
Her Majesty had once abandoned a certain relic, leaving it to rust into a lump of metal—until she gave it to Rabbi the tailor, who reforged it into an umbrella’s shaft.
“That umbrella’s original name—”
Her Majesty spoke the name it bore before losing its form.
“Excalibur. The sword of my reign.”
READ THE ORIGINAL TRANSLATION AT gadgetizedpanda.net
“You piss me off.”
Yanagishita’s eye twitched.
“People who don’t take things seriously piss me off. I’ve worked hard. Lived humbly. Endured suffering with my head bowed. If you’re chasing the Grail, you should be just as desperate as I am. How dare you succeed while looking so carefree?”
“Y’know, I kinda like that honesty of yours.”
Our stances were undeniably different.
But respecting those differences—that was true courtesy. And now, I understood.
So—
“Let’s settle this fairly.”
I tucked my left hand behind my back, raising my umbrella one-handed.
“Fencing, huh?”
Yanagishita mirrored my stance.
“You’ve never beaten me in training.”
“Today’s different.”
Vice Captain Yanagishita, takes a step forward and thrusts her sword at me. I pull back and deflect it away from my chest, then deflect the tip of the sword with the tip of my umbrella. Immediately after that, I step forward and try to poke her in the chest with the tip of my umbrella. Vice Captain Yanagishita, with her excellent reflexes, quickly moves backward.
We dueled atop the moving conveyor belt.
Turns out, I could fight like a gentleman when needed.
(Not that I’d admit how many Mask of Zorro marathons Her Majesty dragged me to.)
Yanagishita swung for my head—I ducked, sweeping at her legs with my umbrella. she leaped over it.
As we danced, our positions reversed.
The Grail neared the furnace.
Yanagishita, now on its side, reached for it—until I hooked her ankle and sent her sprawling.
“Too early for trophies.”
I reset my stance, giving her time to rise.
“Come on, get up. I won’t stab you in the back.”
“Fine. Have it your way.”
She stood, accelerating her assaults—left, right, relentless.
But constant motion meant inevitable openings.
Just as I prepared to counter—
Her foot pinned mine.
“You’re too soft.”
Yanagishita thrusts her sword at me just when I can no longer step back. I somehow block it with my umbrella, but she slips into my guard, hits my face hard with the hand she had behind her back, and even headbutts my chin. Then Vice Captain Yanagishita disappears. An angel’s ability.
And then—.
“Fair and square?”
From behind me, Vice Captain Yanagishita appears with her sharp sword tip.
“There’s a scenery that only the victorious humans can see!”
“I agree!”
I twist my body and, as I turn around, thrust the handle of my umbrella with all my might toward Vice Captain Yanagishita.
First, blood spurts from my body.
I’ve been slashed clean from chest to waist.
Vice Captain Yanagishita flashes a victorious smile. But immediately looks at her own chest.
“What… is this?”
In Vice Captain Yanagishita’s chest was a silver blade extending from the umbrella handle.
“It’s a hidden sword. I thought there might be another push button somewhere~”
The released blade had pierced Vice Captain Yanagishita’s chest at the speed of a flash of light.
“You’re really… annoying…”
Vice Captain Yanagishita collapses on the spot.
I fall to my knees too.
Blood is gushing out profusely, making me feel like “uweee~.”
The Holy Grail is about to enter the blast furnace.
Looking over, His Majesty has finished beating up the director.
Seems like His Majesty always gets the best part.
“Your Majesty!”
“Ah.”
Her Majesty kicks off the floor and jumps. Then, leaping onto the conveyor belt, she picks up something that was about to be carried into the blast furnace.
“Hey! What are you doing?!”
The one who raised her voice was Vice Captain Yanagishita, who was barely breathing.
“The Holy Grail, the Holy Grail!”
The Holy Grail, which had taken the form of a crown, is carried into the blast furnace and melts to a bright red. At this rate, it will dissipate as energy, and according to Rabbi, it will take a thousand years before it takes form again.
“You guys, what have you…”
Vice Captain Yanagishita is dumbfounded.
What Her Majesty had picked up wasn’t the Holy Grail.
There was something else being carried to the blast furnace on a different line of the conveyor belt, just like the Holy Grail. Her Majesty had gone to pick that up.
What Her Majesty picked up was—
What Vice Captain Yanagishita had discarded as if it had served its purpose—
It was Kuromari-chan’s stuffed toy.
“We are from the British shop,”
Her Majesty says with a proud face.
“We do our job perfectly.”
I raise two fingers toward Her Majesty.
We weren’t after the Holy Grail from the beginning.
We have a job to make a girl smile, who lost her father but still tries to act cheerful.
That’s the kind of work we do.
“Well, shall we head back?”
Her Majesty says.
“How are we getting back from here?”
“By train, of course.”
“Ehh~”
I’m covered in blood and can barely walk.
“Can’t be helped. There’s no driver.”
Her Majesty approaches and looks down at me, who’s become like a tattered rag.
“That’s quite a nice suit.”
“How did I do?”
“A perfect score.”
Her Majesty crouches down and brings her face close to mine.
“I’ll give you a reward.”
Don’t tell Hana, she says.
Saying that, Her Majesty brings her face closer.
This is definitely that. A reward kiss.
Because I worked hard, she’s going to give me a soft kiss as a final closure.
But what should I do? Do you close your eyes when kissing? Do men keep them open? While I’m thinking about how my lips might be a bit dry and not in good condition today~, Her Majesty’s thin lips draw nearer.
I steel myself. That’s right. Everyone kisses. Even middle schoolers do if they’re into it. I’m a high school student. I should calmly and composedly accept a kiss—
While I’m thinking like this, finally, Her Majesty’s lips touch mine.
It’s genuinely my first kiss, but—
Her Majesty’s reward kiss is—
A deeply intense, mind-numbing—
Adult French kiss.
“Um, Your Majesty.”
“What?”
“…Can I have one more?”
“You’re hopeless.”
Saying that, Her Majesty helps me up as I’m still wobbly. Her Majesty feels just like a beautiful woman would, and smells nice too. And unusually, she smiled as she said:
“I’m the type of Majesty who gives plenty of rewards.”
Also check out my friend Localizermeerkat for more LN translations!
BUY THE SOURCE MATERIAL TO SUPPORT THE AUTHOR !!!
Kindly click on the green button above and contribute to filling the green bar if you’re interested in having another LN from the request page translated. Also, every donation is being used to purchase the source material and to fund more English translations.
Please consider joining my Ko-Fi membership. By becoming a member, you’ll also gain access to 2-10 additional chapters of all of the novels from this site translated into English. Last but not least your support will also assist me in upholding the translation quality and speed. For more information, please follow the link.
Donation for faster release is always welcome
Additionally, I am now accepting translation requests.
